some people believe that it is best to accept a bad situation such as an unsatisfactory job or shortage of money others argue that it is better to try and improve such situation discuss both views and give your own opinion

#people #situation #job #shortage #money

Nowadays, the ratio of unemployment is very high. The uneducated people face a lot of problems.

On the other hand

, well-educated people live luxury life. Both situations and my opinion will be discussed in

this

essay.

Firstly

, some residents believe that it is good for those people who are uneducated to accept a bad

situation

such

as an unsatisfactory job or no money.

For instance

, in Asian nations, the percentage of unemployment is high because their residents are not too

much

Fix the agreement mistake

apply

show examples

educated or their economy is not stable. So some public, think that

this

is right for that kind of person to live in

such

a bad

situation

or with less money.

Secondly

, others argue that it is better to try and improve

such

situation

. I

also

think

this

is the best thing.The 20th century is known as the century of technology. There are many opportunities for everyone to do. If a person is not well learner and does a local job

such

as a servant or that kind of job in which the rate of wages is not suitable. The thing

that is

needed is to learn advanced technology and do jobs in the technology field. If they do have not that kind of morale. So at least change their city for better facilities.

For example

, if a person takes 4$ per hour it is not suitable. So he decided to change their city where the minimum wage is 7$ per hour. Obviously, their lifestyle will be changed. In conclusion,

this

is in your hands, to live in

such

a bad

situation

or move your steps to better opportunities. In my opinion, the best option is to move on and try to improve their

situation

Submitted by shaheryarahmedat on Tue Jan 30 2024

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Introduction

Ensure the introduction clearly outlines both viewpoints and your opinion. This sets the foundation for the reader to understand your essay structure.

Logical Structure

Develop each paragraph with a clear topic sentence, followed by supporting sentences, and a concluding sentence to wrap up the paragraph's main point.

Cohesion

Use a wider range of cohesive devices and transition words to link ideas more naturally and show the relationship between points.

Task Response

Make sure you address all parts of the task and provide a balanced discussion of both views before presenting your own opinion.

Idea Development

Expand on ideas with explanations, reasons, or results to provide clarity and depth to your argument.

Use of Examples

Incorporate clear and specific examples to support your points. General statements can be made stronger with precise evidence or scenarios.

Conclusion

Conclude your essay by summarizing the key points discussed in the body paragraphs and clearly restating your opinion.

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9Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
1Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
1Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

287 words

6.50

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 8.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 8.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 4.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Topic Vocabulary:

Contentment
Resilience
Personal growth
Endurance
Initiative
Advancement
Catalyst
Financial stability
Status quo
Innovation
Missed opportunities
Life satisfaction
Adverse situations
Taking control
Risk assessment
Change management
Self-improvement
Motivation
Stagnation
Proactivity

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some people believe that it is best to accept a bad situation such as an unsatisfactory job or shortage of money others argue that it is better to try and improve such situation discuss both views and give your own opinion

Some people like to spend their leisure time with their colleagues, while others prefer to keep their private life separate from their work life. Is it a good thing to spend leisure time with a colleague?

Some people think that children should start school at a very early age, but others believe that chilren should go to school until they are older. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

People who live in large cities face a range of problems in their daily life. What are the main problems people in cities face, and how can these problems be tackled?

In the past decade, we have developed new advances in medical services and it is believed by some that in another decade or so computers might take over a vast majority of the traditional medical doctor’s work. Discuss the pros and cons of this advancement and give your opinion about it.