IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 7

Some people believe that cellphones are harmful to the children while others disagree. Discuss and give your opinion.

#people #cellphones #children
The opinion is divided on whether mobile phones are harmful to children or not. Where one believes that it can be very beneficial for them where other beliefs to harmful effects on young minds.
This
 essay will look into both sides of the argument and will present my opinion in the conclusion.
To begin
 with, phones can be an essential tool for parents to keep track of their offsprings.
For instance
, working parents can stay in touch and keep tabs on their children while they are at work.
Moreover
,
l
Add an article
the
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atest technologies like video call enable parents anytime and anywhere.
Similarly
, cellphones can be utilized as an appropriate tool by children to help them to study.
For example
, in times of Covid-19, since many schools have gone online many students are using mobile phones to attend online classes.
Although
,
on the other hand
 where cellphones can help parents to observe their children activities but if they do not monitor them, children can easily get accessed to websites which are not suitable for them.
For example
, adolescent surfing on the internet without parents observation can end up on adult websites like Porn sites that can corrupt their young minds.
Also
, phones can be the biggest distraction for students,
instead
 of using it for educational purpose. They might use it to play games or waste their time on social media websites like Instagram. I believe, it is necessary for adolescents to own a mobile phone. It has become a necessity
of
Verify preposition usage
for
show examples
 everyone's life, it helps us to stay connected with our friends and families. And, as a student,they could be a useful tool to research their homework and be connected to their friends and teachers. But, having said that it is their parent's responsibility to be vigilant about their offsprings cellphone's activities.
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Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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