IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6

One of the best ways to solve environmental problems is to increase the cost of fuel cars and other vehicles. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

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It is said that climate change is irreversible today, and the seriousness of the consequences is already being experienced. One of the challenges faced by urbanized
cities
Use synonyms
 is to improve air quality, aiming to lower CO2 levels. Gasoline cars generate a lot of pollution, and many governments create laws to increase the cost of fuel and
thus
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 help the environment. In
this
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essay
Add a comma
essay,
show examples
 I will give my opinion on
this
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 measure and offer other alternative solutions. As
cities
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 grow, and people have greater purchasing power, many
cities
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 have been affected by the massive circulation of vehicles and with it, a large amount of carbon dioxide. Some governments, raise the price of gasoline assuming that more people will stop using their cars so often, because of the cost.
Although
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this
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 solution seems quite logical, it has proven to be ineffective in reducing CO2 levels. In large
cities
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, the car is an indispensable means of transport for many, and a study by the National Institute of Statistics has shown that comfort and habituation to
this
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 means of transport
is
Change the verb form
are
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 stronger than the desire to save money and opt for another. In the Santiago Valley,
for example
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,
due to
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 the concavity of its geography, at certain times of the
year
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year,
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 the air is so polluted, that the government declares an alert and certain outdoor activities are prohibited.
In addition
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, the Ministry of Transportation prohibits the circulation of certain license plates per day, to ensure that fewer cars pollute. Another measure
that is
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 being implemented gradually, is the use of electric or hybrid vehicles.
This
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 can be done,
for example
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, by investing in gas stations with electromobility, lowering costs, attracting investors, etc. In conclusion, raising the price of fuel appears to be an inefficient and unpredictable idea.
However
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, implementing public policies,
such
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 as restricting certain patents or investing in electromobility, are much more attractive measures in the short and long term.

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task achievement
Ensure a more thorough exploration of the idea that raising fuel costs would lead to lower CO2 levels. You introduced the problem but didn't deeply analyze the effectiveness of this approach.
task achievement
Give more specific examples or data to support your arguments. For instance, data on how much CO2 levels changed after a similar measure was implemented in another city would strengthen your position.
coherence and cohesion
Enhance the transitions between your paragraphs to improve the flow of ideas. Using linking phrases can help your essay feel more cohesive.
coherence and cohesion
Expand on your conclusion to briefly summarize the main points you made in your paragraphs, which will reinforce the overall argument.
task achievement
The essay presents a clear opinion and addresses the topic effectively.
task achievement
The use of examples, such as the situation in Santiago Valley, is a strong point as it illustrates real-world issues.
coherence and cohesion
The organization of your essay is logical, with an introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion that clearly reflect your stance.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

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