You have been working for a company for some time, and other rival companies are willing to employ you with a higher salary for all the practical experience you have gained. Write a letter to your company manager and in your letter • Explain the situation • Say what you would like the manager to do (increase the salary etc.) • Say what action you would take in case the manager fails to meet your demands Write at least 150 words. You do NOT need to write any addresses.
Dear Mr. Thomas,
I hope
this
email finds you in good health. I am writing this
letter to inform you of some information about the recent job offer that I have received from "Coats Bangladesh" and the situation which I have been experiencing related to the
current workplace.
As you know I have been working in your esteemed organization since 2023 as a Supply Chain Manager. Change the word
my
Besides
, recently my son has received a 50% scholarship from Dhaka University as he is going to pursue his Master's Degree Program there. Although
this
is a bit of good news for me, I have to pay the rest of the 50% tuition fee which is really tough for me with my current salary
.
However
, the new company has been offering me with 150K monthly salary
whereas
I have been drawing a 100K monthly salary
from your company since 2024 which is why I am thinking about accepting of new job offer if you do not decide to increase the salary
as per my expectation.
I hope you will consider the above-mentioned situation judiciously and will take a fruitful decision.
I look forward to hearing from you soon.
Yours faithfully,
Robert AtkinsonSubmitted by faisalmahamood on
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Task Achievement
Ensure the timeline mentioned is consistent and logical. Stating that you have been working since 2023 and then mentioning drawing a salary from 2024 might confuse the reader. Consistency in presenting factual information enhances clarity and task achievement.
Coherence and Cohesion
Introduce paragraphs for each point you're addressing for better readability and coherence. The transition from personal situation to the job offer and then to your request could be more clearly demarcated with paragraphs.
Task Achievement
Include a polite and respectful closing sentence that reiterates your hope for a positive response, further enhancing the writing tone's suitability.
Coherence and Cohesion
To enhance coherence, use conjunctions and linking words more effectively to create smoother transitions between ideas within paragraphs.
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