IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 7.5

In recent years,women's roles have changed dramatically.what changes have occurred?do you think these changes are positive or negative?

Nowadays, women have become more important in many ambits
such
Linking Words
 as new jobs opportunities. In
this
Linking Words
 essay,I will
further
Linking Words
 discuss why I think the development of women's role has its benefits and why. Many years ago, women were just the ones who were taken care of the children or do the house's chores. Recently that has dramatically changed in a better and more benefits way. One of the reasons is that in many countries the mentally of people has changed in thinking that women can occupy jobs than in the past just were for men,
therefore
Linking Words
,
this
Linking Words
 could lead to the xenophobic thought that was in many countries. Another reason is that the jobs opportunities for women have recently increased in many positions, in that could help them to feel more independent and valorized for themselves which that could
also
Linking Words
 show an incrementation of well-being
such
Linking Words
 as higher self-esteem. Research has been done in India shows that many women need to get married even without wanting because their religion does not allow them to work and is just men who can bring the financial economy to the family.
However
Linking Words
, in many countries how I have said before the mental thinking has not changed,
therefore
Linking Words
 these women ought to fight to get their rights because no one in
this
Linking Words
 life is a slave and everyone should have the power to do with their lives whatever they want and do not be discriminated to be a woman. To sum up, I believe that in recent years the world has changed a lot and
hence
Linking Words
, the opportunities for a job for women have been increasing and giving them a lot of benefits within.

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site's author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: