It was predicted that people in the 21st century would have much more free time than in the past. To what extent has this prediction come true?

In the 21st
century
, technology is indeed a blessing to mankind. It has facilitated human life in uncountable ways. Human life
becomes
Wrong verb form
has become
show examples
more easy and speedy than in the past. The prediction that
people
have more free
time
in the 21st
century
than earlier becomes true. The supporting ideas will be explicated in subsequent paragraphs. To embark on, over the years, technology
is
Verb problem
has
show examples
becoming
Wrong verb form
become
show examples
advanced which
provide
Correct subject-verb agreement
provides
show examples
more and more facilities and comfort to human beings.
Due to
these inventions, today's
people
have more free
time
than the older
time
.
For example
, internet technology has become a
time
saver for the modern world.
According to
a survey, experts claimed that 90% of global
people
are using the internet for study, shopping, paying electricity and gas bills,
transfer
Wrong verb form
transferring
show examples
money and many
services
Correct word choice
other services
show examples
which save
their
Correct pronoun usage
them
show examples
huge
time
while
folks in the past had to stand in long queues to pay the bills and transfer money which took their half day.
Consequently
,
this
advancement has come with a lot of free
time
for the modern generation.
Furthermore
, transportation transformed the world. Across the globe,
people
can reach any destination within a few hours which was impossible earlier. There are many modes of travel
are
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
available like airways, metros, railways, bullet trains, scooters, cars etcetera which help
people
in reaching
Wrong verb form
reach
show examples
faster.
To
Change preposition
For
show examples
instance, before,
people
commute
Delhi
Change preposition
from Delhi
show examples
to Kochi in India would take 20 days
by
Change preposition
on
show examples
walk
Correct article usage
a walk
show examples
because they had no vehicles but now with the help of
aeroplane
Correct article usage
an aeroplane
show examples
it is 5 hours away.
Additionally
, metros and local trains have saved
time
in commuting for the city
inhabitant
Fix the agreement mistake
inhabitants
show examples
.
As a result
, in
this
century
, these improvements give a lot of precious
time
to
people
for other activities.
To conclude
, it is inevitable that
21st
Correct your spelling
21st-century
Century
folks have more free
time
than their ancestors in the same period because of many technological inventions.
Submitted by kaurrajwant0208 on

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task response
The essay addresses the task prompt and provides relevant examples, but the argument could be more in-depth and supported by further analysis.
coherence and cohesion
The essay has a basic logical structure and presents an introduction and conclusion, but there is room for improvement in the organization of ideas within paragraphs.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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