IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6.5

Car ownership has increased so rapidly over the past thirty years that many cities in the world are now 'one big traffic jam'. How true do you think this statement is? What measures can governments take to discourage people using their cars?

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Over the past 30 years, more families bought not only one private car, which caused car ownership to increase dramatically,
thus
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 resulting in 'one big
traffic
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jam
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' in many cities. I think it is exactly a real issue in modern days. Governments should take measures to deal with it. I will give some methods below which I believe are useful.
Traffic
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jam
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 has become a major problem in many cities. Nowadays, with remarkable/marked decrease in automobile price, more people choose to buy their private cars. Due to their workplace far away from home, they tend to buy cars, which contribute to their commuting.
This
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 causes lots of transportation problems, especially
traffic
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 congestion. In my own experience. I live in Shanghai, where I have to get up 2 hours in advance to go to work for that, in the morning rush hour, there is a
traffic
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jam
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 every day. Officials can reduce the uses of cars by increasing the number and frequency of public transport. Some people argue that they don't prefer to take the bus because it is slow and they need to wait for a long time.
Moreover
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, governments
also
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 can prolong the opening time of public transport and finance it a lot to give out free tickets for the public.
This
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 can discourage people from using their cars who complain about missing the
last
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 bus for working too late. Free tickets
also
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 give more stimulations to these commuters who care about their transportation fees needed to transfer different
traffic
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 lines from suburb to downtown. To sum up, with the increase in car ownership, there is a really big issue regarding
traffic
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jam
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. To deal with it, the government could improve the public transport services to reduce the opportunities of using private cars, like free of charge tickets, extended opening time, and the increase in numbers and frequency.
Submitted by shaolin.shop on

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For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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