IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6

In recent years, there has been a significant increase in the number of oil drilling operations in remote locations around the world. This has brought economic benefits to some countries, though it has also raised concerns about the environmental impact of these operations. Discuss both sides and give your own opinion.

#years #oil #operations #locations #world #countries #concerns #impact
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In the
last
 few years, there has been a huge rise in the drilling operation
process
 in remote areas
in
Change preposition
of
show examples
 the world.
This
process
 gave financial benefits to some
countries
,
while
 there were some problems regarding environmental effects
due to
 these
operations
.
Oil
 drilling
operations
 in remote areas give so many economic benefits to some
countries
 and there is no bad environmental
impact
 because there has been so much advancement in technology in recent years that even the
oil
 drilling
operations
 have
Add a missing verb
had no
show examples
no
Correct determiner usage
a
show examples
 bad
impact
 on the
environment
. For
countries
, it is really cost-efficient if they have
oil
 drilling
operations
 in locations, which leads to growth in economics. When they have to transport the petrol to other potential buyers,
operations
 made in remote locations are much more cost-efficient
due to
 it's close to neighbouring
countries
.
As a result
, these neighbouring
countries
 receive their product much faster, and it leads to good business relationships between buyers and consumers.
For instance
, a recent study showed that Chinese companies's revenue increased by 2 times compared to
last
 year
due to
 their cost-efficient transportation. Since there has been a big improvement in technology in recent years, there has been absolutely no harmful
impact
 on the
environment
, even if
countries
 have conducted
oil
 drilling
operations
 in remote areas. Using advanced technologies,
countries
 can now determine precisely where to conduct their natural resource drilling
process
 with no harmful
impact
 on the
environment
.
As a result
,
countries
 learn where not to conduct the drilling
process
, which can have a harmful effect on the
environment
.
For example
,
last
 year, Mongolian companies, using advanced pieces of equipment, discovered the correct location, which brought a lot of economic benefits but had no harmful
impact
 on the
environment
.
To conclude
,
it is clear that
 if
countries
 use advanced technology for their
oil
 drilling
process
,
then
 their economies can improve without harming their
environment
.
Submitted by nbogey777 on

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task response
While your essay gives a clear response, it could address both positive and negative aspects in more balanced detail. Try to provide more specific examples regarding the negative environmental impacts.
coherence and cohesion
Ensure that your paragraphs are well-connected. At times, the logic can seem a bit disjointed. Use transition words effectively to maintain smooth coherence between paragraphs.
task response
You should aim to deepen your argumentation and ensure that all key points are thoroughly examined. For instance, mentioning specific technological advancements and how they mitigate environmental impact can enrich your essay.
coherence and cohesion
Your essay has a clear and concise introduction and conclusion, ensuring that your arguments are well framed.
task response
The essay provides clear and comprehensive ideas that are relevant to the topic, illustrating the economic benefits with specific examples.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • Extraction industry
  • Fossil fuels
  • Renewable resources
  • Sustainability
  • Ecosystem
  • Biodiversity
  • Greenhouse gases
  • Carbon footprint
  • Ecological balance
  • Socio-economic development
  • Non-renewable resources
  • Environmental degradation
  • Sustainable development
  • Climate mitigation
  • Energy transition
  • Ecological footprint
  • Corporate social responsibility
  • Pollution control measures
  • Economic diversification
  • Resource exploitation
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