Some people think that in order to produce a happy society, it is necessary to ensure that there is only a small difference between the earnings of the richest and poorest. To what extent do you agree or disagree?
Many
people
believe that closing the pay gap between the rich and the poor makes a better society. I strongly disagree with the previous statement. In my opinion, this
is an impractical solution, as it cannot be applied in real life.
To begin
with, not all people
come from the same background. There are some individuals who were able to get a decent education, others who were not offered this
chance and those who decided to drop out at a certain point of
their lives. Change preposition
in
For example
, statistics have proven that a person who graduated from college with a bachelor
degree Change noun form
bachelor's
have
better job prospects and may earn more than that who decided not to continue higher education. Correct subject-verb agreement
has
Therefore
, it may not sound logical to call for an
equal pay for those who completed a degree with those who dropped out of college.
Remove the article
apply
However
, there are several ways in which societies could be improved . Firstly
, Enhancing public services such
as transportation, healthcare and education, can greatly provide a better quality of life for many people
. Secondly
, many freshly graduated students struggle with finding jobs as soon as they leave universities
. Providing career opportunities might have a positive impact on their lives and feel satisfied Fix the agreement mistake
university
as a result
. Finally
, reducing crime rates is a major step towards building a stable society. If crimes were reduced and criminals were penalized, people
would feel safe and content.
In conclusion, despite the fact that minimizing the difference in earnings between people
may seem Like a simple and straightforward answer, it is not practical and fair.Submitted by reemmagdysherif on
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task response
Well done on presenting your opinion clearly throughout the essay. Remember to provide a stronger justification for your stance on the topic.
coherence and cohesion
Your essay is well-structured with a clear introduction, body, and conclusion. Try to ensure a smoother transition between paragraphs for better coherence.
task response
You effectively argued against the idea of equal earnings for all despite the pay gap. Good job in providing examples to support your points.
coherence and cohesion
The essay has a clear introduction, body, and conclusion, which help in presenting your ideas logically.