Some people believe that giving longer prison sentences is the best way to reduce crime. Others believe that there are better ways to reduce crime. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

Opinions are divided on whether the number of criminals can decrease completely when throwing them into

prison

for a long time or it is better to reduce the

crime

rate

thanks to by using alternative solutions. While I understand why some people support the former view, I am still in favour of the latter. I understand why some people think that the longer period of imprisonment is the best way to prevent

crime

. From their point of view, doing

this

generates

instills

Change the spelling

instils

show examples

fear in the offenders' mind and

then

deters them from doing unlawfully. Evidence for

this

can be seen in Singapore, where thieves are usually punished with the life sentence.

As a result

, Singapore is a well-known country in which the thieves

crime

rate

is under 1% during the

last

10 years. In spite of producing impressive results,

this

solution costs a large amount of public money to provide offenders with food and other necessities while staying in

prison

consequently

, it can be detrimental

in to

Join the words

into

show examples

developing countries.

On the other hand

, I am still with those who believe that there are more effective ways to fight

misdemeanor

Change the spelling

misdemeanour

show examples

such

as providing vocational training courses.

This

means that these criminals can learn a trade through jail time and find jobs after being released.

Verify preposition usage

apply

show examples

this

way, not only do the

crime

rate

and the unemployment

rate

decrease but it

also

helps boost the economic growth in some countries.

This

is can be seen in the case of Vietnam where a person used to be a prisoner and became an owner of a factory producing exported rice. He said that he could have great success

then

thanks to the agricultural training in

prison

. In conclusion, despite acknowledging why people think the best way to reduce

crime

is giving longer

prison

sentences, I hold the belief that the percentage of lawbreakers can reduce significantly if they receive big help from the government.

Submitted by phamhuong080800 on Mon Oct 26 2020

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Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

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Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

for example
for instance
to illustrate this
to give a clear example
such as
namely
to illustrate
take, for example

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8Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
3Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
4Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

321 words

6.00

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 6.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 6.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

7.5

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Some people believe that giving longer prison sentences is the best way to reduce crime. Others believe that there are better ways to reduce crime. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

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Some people think the government funding should not be used for supporting art and culture, others think supporting cultural activities may be beneficial for society. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Some people say History is one of the most important school subjects. Other people think that, in today's world, subjects like Science and Technology are more important than History. Discuss both these views and give your own opinions