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Band 7.5

In many countries today, if people want to find work, they have to move away from their friends and their families. Do you think the advantages of this development outweigh the disadvantages? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from own knowledge or experience. You should write at least 250 words.

#countries #people #work #move #friends #families #development
Nowadays, it is seen that in several
countries
 many people need to shift from their closed ones in search of work.
This
 is a big problem and I do not think that the advantages of
this
 development outweigh the disadvantages. The very first problem is the breakage in relationships with others. By moving to other
countries
, some individuals might get good jobs and grow their careers as well. In most cases, they manage to achieve everything beyond their thought. But
this
 development creates some issues. As they leave families and friends behind, they gradually forget to keep them in touch resulting in faded bondings among them.
Additionally
, it is not possible for them to keep everyone with them and they
also
 suffer from
this
. Sometimes they feel alone
due to
 the absence of close ones. Again, there is a big chance to deviate from patriotism. When a guy leaves his birthplace, he barely feels attracted to get back there. Sometimes people feel that they do not have any responsibility towards their
countries
.
While
 going to the other cities, they are bound to fulfil their responsibilities for their own places. It is high time that each person should be liable for their own families, friends and
countries
. In fact, balancing between work-life and personal relations might make easy everything for the movers.
To conclude
, shifting somewhere else is good for finding jobs but it
also
 brings issues with family and friends.
This
 is totally unexpected though the advantages of moving to other cities are high.
Submitted by writing9common on

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task achievement
Provide specific examples or evidence to support your main points. For instance, mention a personal story or a known case of someone moving away for work.
task achievement
Ensure that all parts of the question are addressed. While the essay considers both advantages and disadvantages, more emphasis is placed on disadvantages. Consider acknowledging some advantages more explicitly.
coherence cohesion
The introduction and conclusion are present and effectively frame the discussion, summarizing the main points well.
coherence cohesion
The essay logically outlines the disadvantages of moving for work, building a cohesive argument.
task achievement
The arguments are clear, with a focus on the potential impacts on personal relationships and patriotism.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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You are not ready for IELTS Speaking, if you

  • Can’t speak smoothly without pauses.
  • Use simple words and lack vocabulary.
  • Feel nervous and anxious when speaking.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • relocation
  • employment prospects
  • professional development
  • cultural exposure
  • isolation
  • familial relationships
  • cost of living
  • career progression
  • mental health
  • significant life events
  • higher salaries
  • support families
  • broaden horizons
  • living standards
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