IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 6

Some high school students work part-time in addition to going to school. What are the advantages and disadvantages of high school students having part-time jobs? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge and experience.

#school #students #work #addition #jobs
Working in a part-time job may be one of the most difficult conditions for high
school
 students. These students are primarily responsible for their courses in the
school
. They have to study hard in order to pass their exams. So, it
also
 takes a long time in their daily
life
. There are a few advantages and disadvantages of high
school
 students having part-time jobs. If a high
school
student
 works part-time, they have limited time to study his/her courses. So, that may lead the
student
 to fail the exams.
In addition
, his/her social environment affects negatively because of having no free hours. Nutrition habits may
also
 change and that may cause serious health problems.
For example
, when I was in high
school
, there was a
student
 in my class. He had been working
part- time
Add a hyphen
part-time
show examples
 after
school
. After a while, his exam results dramatically decreased and
then
 he got sick. That period was so bad for him.
On the other hand
, there are some advantages to work in a part-time job while you are a high
school
student
. One of the biggest advantages is to earn money. When a person earns money at early ages, he/she could gain an incredible experience about real
life
.
Although
 they have a lot of problems when working part-time, their gain is so crucial for them over their
life
.
Consequently
, there are some advantages and disadvantages to working part-time for high
school
 students. I think students should not work during their
school
life
. Because
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
 the advantages of
that is
 much more than the advantages.
Submitted by buraktuyan on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Learn how to write high-scoring essays with powerful words.
Download Free PDF and start improving you writing skills today!
What to do next:
Look at other essays: