IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

Some people believe that countries should produce the food to feed their population themselves and import as little as possible. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Food
Use synonyms
 is a serious topic all over the world. There are many nations that
buying
Wrong verb form
buy
show examples
 edibles from overseas to meet the local demand. In my opinion, everyone should farm whatever
eatables
Check wording
food
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 they need locally
than
Rephrase
rather than
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 purchasing from foreign land because
this
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 brings
developments
Fix the agreement mistake
development
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 in many areas.
To begin
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 with, when a country starts to cultivate
agriculture
Replace the word
agricultural
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 products
for
Change preposition
apply
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their citizens can
flourish
Verb problem
help
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their
Fix the agreement mistake
its
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 economy
.
Verb problem
flourish.
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In other words
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,
this
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 initiative would minimise the cost of the products since these items are locally
produced
Punctuation problem
produced,
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whereas
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 importing requires a huge amount of national income.
For example
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, India is a consumeristic country
, recently
Punctuation problem
. Recently
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, the country has started a programme to motivate more and more youngsters to work
in
Change preposition
on
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 farms to minimise imports.
Thus
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,
it is clear
Linking Words
that
Correct word choice
apply
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how significant for any nation to produce
their
Fix the agreement mistake
its
show examples
 own fruits and
vegetable
Fix the agreement mistake
vegetables
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. Another important fact here is
that
Correct word choice
apply
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dependability. If any nation heavily trusts others for
food
Use synonyms
 and allied requirements,
this
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 can develop a dependency.
This
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 means
when
Correct word choice
that when
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 a disparity happens between these allies,
this
Linking Words
food
Use synonyms
 exchange can be used as a weapon to punish them.
For instance
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, producing their own feeds can bring many job opportunities to the residents
,
Punctuation problem
;
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 eventually, the standard of the citizens would be enhanced.
Therefore
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, it is beneficial
that
Change preposition
to
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minimising
Wrong verb form
minimise
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 foreign imports. In conclusion, buying
food
Use synonyms
 products from foreign nations
seams
Use the right word
seems
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 to be
ill-logical
Use the right word
illogical
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 and planting
feeds
Check wording
crops
show examples
 in their homeland is feasible,
according to
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 some. I firmly support the view since
this
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 makes a land independent and economically stable. It is highly recommended that farming should be encouraged by people.

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structure
Plan the essay with a clear plan: intro, two body parts, and a short end.
language
Keep sentence ideas clear. Use simple words and short sentences.
content
Explain each point with a simple example and connect it to your view.
argument
Include a short view that disagrees or gives a balanced take, then say why you agree.
content
The writer shows a clear view and aims to argue for self reliance in food.
content
There is a focus on how farming can help the economy and jobs.
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