2.Some people believe that it is possible for a country to be economically successful and have a clean environment. Others argue that these two aims are not compatible. Discuss both views and give your opinion.
In
this
era of rising industrialization and urbanization, several pupils opine that a nation can achieve economic progress and maintain a tidy Correct your spelling
ecosystem
eco-system
at the same time. Correct your spelling
ecosystem
However
, another set of the population dissatisfies with this
view-point
as Correct your spelling
viewpoint
according to
them both the
goals are inversely related to each other. Correct article usage
apply
This
essay will discuss both sides of the argument along with
my opinion on the view, followed by a reasonable conclusion.
On one hand, many individual
believe that since Fix the agreement mistake
individuals
economical
success is an outcome of increased industrialization and urbanization, it will have an adverse effect on the environment. Replace the word
economic
Furthermore
, activities to support the economy involves
a large amount of industrial production which Correct subject-verb agreement
involve
as a result
causes environmental hazards. For example
, air pollution is caused due
to emission of the factory's residual Change preposition
by
in
the air, Change preposition
into
most
of the water pollution happens because of the passage of the factory's waste Correct word choice
and most
in
the rivers. Change preposition
into
Therefore
, the compatibility of these two factors is considered to be extremely difficult.
On the other hand
, several people believe that it is not impossible to attain environmental cleanliness during the process of economical
development, provided that we inculcate the aspect of Replace the word
economic
eco-safely
from the inception of any industrial or manufacturing process. To illustrate, the usage of eco-friendly raw Correct your spelling
eco-safe
material
should be made mandatory for any industrial production. Another way could be, to Fix the agreement mistake
materials
prioritising
the adherence Wrong verb form
prioritise
of
safety guidelines of the environment in any commercial decision and Change preposition
to
implementing
fines for violation of Wrong verb form
implement
such
rules. Hence
, by
adapting to prioritise the health of the environment in Change preposition
apply
ones'
daily business can automatically result in safe Change noun form
one's
surrounding
Fix the agreement mistake
surroundings
along with
a successful economy.
To conclude
, I concur with the view that it is possible for a nation to achieve a successful as well as
the
environmentally safe economy. Correct article usage
an
Nevertheless
, it can only be reached if we take care of nature with a great focus.Submitted by abhi on
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Extended advice
Task Response: The essay addresses the prompt effectively and presents both views along with the writer's opinion. However, the introduction and conclusion could be more developed to better signal the structure of the essay.
Extended advice
Coherence and Cohesion: The logical structure of the essay is generally clear, but the introduction and conclusion could be more substantial to improve overall coherence. Additionally, stronger transitions between ideas would enhance the cohesion of the essay.
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