IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 3.5

Happiness is considered very important in life. Why is it difficult to define? What factors are important in achieving happiness?

#happiness #life #factors
Being happy is likely everyone wants to achieve.
Also
Add a comma
,
show examples
it isn't that easy to be as well.
Happiness
Add an article
The happiness
show examples
 index is
diffcult
Correct your spelling
difficult
 to define since there are numerous criteria for a
person
 to be happy.
Happiness
 index
differ
Change the verb form
differs
show examples
 from
person
 to
person
,
for instance
Add the comma(s)
,
show examples
some might be happy if they have a car while others buying a home or having a guitar .These materialistic things might make people happy.
Also
on the other hand
 like
meditiation
Correct your spelling
meditation
 and listening to music
also
 makes people happy but
this
happiness
 is not for all.
Happiness
 comes within to each of them regardless
Verify preposition usage
of
show examples
what they do. Seeing
this
 can we generalize
happiness
?It is close to impossible to define
happiness
. The factors to define a
person
's
happines
Correct your spelling
happiness
 comes from his inner feelings.
Although
 many are happy with what they do and what they are.Reaching your goals by hard work will definitely bring
happiness
, again goals differ from
person
 to
person
 .A
person
 goal can be becoming a singer or it can
be buy
Change the verb form
buy
show examples
 a home or it can be getting a job.
Also
 having
h
Add an article
a
show examples
obby which might help you feel happy and entertainment
also
 helps in being happy.
Happiness
also
 impacts your approach on things, you will be more confident and postie
throught
Correct your spelling
thought
through
throughout
 the time. In conclusion, being happy in daily life will bring positive energy within a
person
 and help a
person
 to achieve more and more goals.
Submitted by sujitnashik.nashik4 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: