Some people say international sports events help in world peace. Do you agree or disagree?

#people #sports #events #world #peace

Sports

have always been a platform to unite people irrespective of their caste and creed.

Hence

, some people believe that international

sports

events can serve as a stage for world peace.I agree with the given statement. In

this

essay, I

would

Wrong verb form

will

show examples

elaborate on the importance of these events

along with

relevant examples and

then

conclude it. To commence with, after the formation of the UNO, it is said that

instead

of showing their rivalry on the battlefield , many countries are trying to

knock-out

Correct your spelling

knock out

show examples

each other in global

sports

Thus

transforming a war battle towards a more simple and peaceful

sports

gathering.

For example

, in the Olympic games, we can see an intense battle between the participants of America and China. In

this

way, these countries are showing their power.

Additionally

, global gaming championships are

also

making the nations

Fix the infinitive

apply

show examples

come together on a single platform so that they can showcase their skills.

Moreover

, these

sports

get-togethers

are boosting

Wrong verb form

boost

show examples

the patriotism

Change preposition

show examples

the contestants. Events like

Correct article usage

the commonwealth

show examples

commonwealth games

Correct your spelling

Commonwealth Games

show examples

are making the participants mingle with their contemporaries and

hence

initiating friendships among them .

For instance

, IPL is proving that players are

also

willing to work together for the entertainment of the global audience.

As a result

, they are making the world believe that they are

into

Change preposition

show examples

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

peace forming.

To conclude

, I totally agree that these international

sports

competitions are very much required to unite nations with different cultures to support worldly peace. I would

further

suggest that these leagues should be conducted regularly to remind the gaming spirit in all

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

people.

Submitted by Sri on Thu Oct 29 2020

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14Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
1Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
10Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

260 words

5.50

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 7.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Some people say international sports events help in world peace. Do you agree or disagree?

In their advertising, businesses nowadays usually emphasise that their products are new in some way. Why is this? Do you think it is a positive or negative development?

Living in a country where you have to speak a foreign language can cause serious social problems as well as practical problems. Do you agree or disagree with this idea?

Some people think that the main purpose of schools is to turn children into good citizens and workers, rather than to benefit them as individuals. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Some people think it would be a good idea for schools to teach every young person how to be a good parent. Do you agree or disagree with this opinion? Describe the skills a person needs to be a good parent.