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Writing Samples
Band 6

Some people think that space exploration is a waste of resources, while others think that it is essential for mankind to continue to explore the universe in which we live. Discuss both sides and give your opinion.

Some individuals hold a view that exploring the
universe
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 is a futile attempt which would only deplete necessary
resources
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,
whereas
Linking Words
 others argue that continuing
space
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 exploration is crucial for humanity. In my opinion, I believe that being aware of the
universe
Use synonyms
 in which
people
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 live is a serious matter. On the one hand, concerns about
space
Use synonyms
 exploration come from the fear of wasted
resources
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. The investigation of the
universe
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 requires the usage of certain materials to build spaceships as it is essential for exploring different planets. But the main problem is the belief that the Earth is the only planet which has enough
resources
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,
such
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 as air and water, for
people
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 to live.
Therefore
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, attempts for the construction of
space
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 transportation would be only a waste of
resources
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, including time and money spent on the improvement of spacecraft, which could be
otherwise
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 used to meet the needs of
people
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 who live on Earth.
On the other hand
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, learning our placement in
this
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universe
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 is important. As the population of the world continues to increase, there is a high possibility that the demand of
people
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 for certain products that are necessary for human life might exceed the supply, which in turn would lead to
the
Correct article usage
a
show examples
 food shortage.
For instance
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, experts have found that the world does not have the same capacity, in terms of essential
resources
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, compared to a few decades ago.
For
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this
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 reason, I believe that the exploration of other parts of the
universe
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 is a chance to find potential
resources
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 to save mankind from famine. In conclusion,
although
Linking Words
space
Use synonyms
 investigation is considered a meaningless try by some individuals, exploring deeply the
universe
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 in which
people
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 build their lives should not be undermined as it would be helpful in the long run when the world encounters a lack of food and other potential sources needed to preserve the existence of humanity.

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task achievement
Your introduction clearly outlines the topic but could benefit from a stronger thesis statement that directly states your opinion.
coherence and cohesion
Try to connect your ideas more clearly. Use linking words like 'Firstly', 'Secondly', and 'Finally' to help the reader follow your points.
task achievement
Provide more detailed specific examples to support your arguments. This will make your points clearer and more convincing.
coherence and cohesion
You present both sides of the argument clearly.
task achievement
Your opinion is stated clearly in the introduction, which is a good practice.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • astronomical costs
  • earthbound issues
  • tangible benefits
  • technological spin-offs
  • innovation
  • long-term investment
  • habitability
  • interplanetary travel
  • sustainable exploration
  • spacefaring nations
  • international collaboration
  • deep space
  • the final frontier
  • cosmic perspective
  • frontiers of science
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