Children in many countries are eating more fast food and convenience snacks. Why are children doing this and hoxw serious are the consequences?

#children #countries #food #convenience #snacks #hoxw #consequences

In the

resent

Correct your spelling

recent

show examples

years, fast

food

have

Change the verb form

has

show examples

became

Change the verb form

become

show examples

a part of our daily routine, especial with children.

Although

junk

food

Change the verb form

does

show examples

not necessary for us, more and more children eat it

everyday

Replace the word

every day

show examples

. There

are

Change the verb form

show examples

a lot of reason for

this

problem.

To begin

with, the most vital factors is lack of

parents's

Remove the s

parents'

show examples

care for their child. They always focus on their work and do not mind

about

Verify preposition usage

apply

show examples

their children's mess.

For example

, almost parents

who

Change the pronoun

whom

show examples

I know have

Remove the article

apply

show examples

busy work usually give money for their child to buy fast

food

Add the comma(s)

, as a result,

show examples

as a result

they do not have enough time to prepare homemade

food

Futhermore

Correct your spelling

Furthermore

, nowadays,

unthealthy

Correct your spelling

unhealthy

food

producted

Correct your spelling

produced

quicky

Correct your spelling

quickly

show examples

and widely. Children can buy it everywhere with the cheapest cost.

For instance

, dried chicken only

take

Change the verb form

takes

show examples

3 USD and it is delicious. Not

suprisingly

Correct your spelling

surprisingly

that fast

food

have

Change the verb form

has

show examples

Add an article

show examples

egative effect on children's health.

Fisrt

Correct your spelling

First

of all, children can

lost

Change the verb form

lose

be lost

show examples

their weight if they eat junk

food

everyday

Replace the word

every day

show examples

. And the cause is they will overweight.

, some scientists

belive

Correct your spelling

believe

show examples

that fast

food

is the most important things that cause lazy

Verify preposition usage

apply

show examples

children. As

Add an article

show examples

lement in unhealthy

food

contain

Change the verb form

contains

show examples

factors that

damege

Correct your spelling

damage

to children. In conclusion, I think parents should more take care of their children's mess by cooking at home and preparing

food

for children. It not only protect your children's health but

also

improve

Change the verb form

improves

show examples

feelings of family.

Submitted by thanhngoc on Sat Oct 31 2020

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

Paragraph 1 - Introduction

Sentence 1 - Background statement
Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
Sentence 3 - Thesis
Sentence 4 - Outline sentence

Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

Sentence 1 - Summary
Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Do you want to check your IELTS essays?

Submit unlimited essays, letters and charts. Sign up right now and start improving your writing skills.

8Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
1Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
28Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

229 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 9.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 4.0

Complete response

6.5

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

🚀 Prepare for IELTS writing section today!

Unlimited Task 1 checks
Get all the feedback you need to keep improving your charts and letters.
Unlimited Task 2 checks
Practice and perfect your skills with essays.
Personalized suggestions
Know how to boost your score.
Detailed mistakes analysis
Get instant feedback. Spot every mistake.
Topic ideas generator
Get topic-specific ideas to enhance your writing.
Vocabulary helper
Get the right words for any topic.
Progress tracking
Track your writing improvements.

What to do next:

Look at other essays:

5
band
Some people say History is one of most important school subjects other people think that, in today world,subject like science and technology are more important than History.Discuss both these views and give your opinion
Nowadays, Some individuals believe that History is more vital than other lessons while other people say that Technology and Science lessons are way more significant than History in today's world. In this essay I am going to discuss both perspectives and also I argued that Science and Tecnology subjects are more crucial than History right now.
5.5
band
You recently took an online personality assessment test. Write a letter to a friend describing the results of the test and how it relates to your behavior and daily life.
I hope you are doing well and enjoying your time. I am keen to tell you about a personality test that I have taken online couple of days ago.
4.5
band
In spite of the many advances women have made in education and employment, yjey continue to be at a disadvantage when it comes to pay and promotion. in your view, what shoule be done to promote equality for men and women in the workplace?
even though women have made their way to work and study after many years of not be able to do them, there are still some downsides when it comes to paying them and getting a higher position in workplace. There are some ways that this problem can be prevented which will be discussed and I'll mention my point of view .
4
band
Some people think that illegal Internet downloads are having a negative effect on the music industry. Others feel that they have little or no impact on artists. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.
To begin with, the people who are illegal music downloads in internet cause of negative effect on the music industry. For instance, most of the singer spend many time and pay lots of money on their music album or record of music for a unbelievable product. Finally illegal music downloads are similar to be thief. On the other hands many singer earn incalculable money thanks to their concert. This singer or musician have a low opinion while some people downloads the their music on internet by illegal. Because they earn lots of money already so if their music are listening by to other people, they have a wide range admirer.
6
band
You and some friends ate a meal at a restaurant to celebrate a special occasion, and you were very pleased with the food and service. Write a letter to the restaurant manager. In your letter: give details of your visit to the restaurant explain the reason for the celebration say what was good about the food and the service Write at least 150 words.
I am writing this letter to appreciate your food and your service during our visit to your restaurant 'Kelsey's' on commemoration of our very special day of my parents anniversary.

Children in many countries are eating more fast food and convenience snacks. Why are children doing this and hoxw serious are the consequences?

Fully explain your ideas

Some people say History is one of most important school subjects other people think that, in today world,subject like science and technology are more important than History.Discuss both these views and give your opinion

You recently took an online personality assessment test. Write a letter to a friend describing the results of the test and how it relates to your behavior and daily life.

In spite of the many advances women have made in education and employment, yjey continue to be at a disadvantage when it comes to pay and promotion. in your view, what shoule be done to promote equality for men and women in the workplace?

Some people think that illegal Internet downloads are having a negative effect on the music industry. Others feel that they have little or no impact on artists. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.