IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 7

Some people believe that technology has made man more sociable.To what extent do you agree with this opinion?

#people #technology #man
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Technology
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 has become a ubiquitous part of
the
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society and it makes people believe that
technology
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 is responsible for making them more sociable. I completely disagree with
this
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 view because I believe that being social does not mean acquainting / connecting with new people and interacting on digital media; rather it is about maintaining personal interactions with the people around.
To begin
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 with,
technology
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 has enabled most people to live in a virtual
world
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 wherein they only interact with virtual friends and followers. They do not care about the people around them. They are in a desperate need to amass more likes and shares on social media. Even when attending a family function or a meeting, people are busy browsing their social media accounts and
thus
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 they fail to be attentive to the people around them. They are so busy showing themselves off in the digital
world
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 that they forget about the real people near them. The advances in
technology
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 have made people show more interest in
the
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online life;
however
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, it made them forget about face to face interaction. A recent study has shown that as youngsters spend more time on social media, they have become less sociable in real life. The vast majority of them do not even know who lives
next
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 door but they have virtual friends on all continents. It is true that computers and mobile phones connect the universe and help people to find friends across the
world
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.
On the contrary
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,
technology
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 fails to connect
real life
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real-life
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 persons and
as a result
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,
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there is a decline in human values and interactions.
Technology
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 makes people fake; it does not show the real trait of a person.
For example
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, before the invention of
technology
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, people shared happiness, pain, smiles and they extended their helping hands to
the
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fellow humans. Nowadays they are portraying themselves to be socially active just for the sake of digital likes and shares. In conclusion,
technology
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 fails to make man sociable in the real
world
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. Being sociable lies in sharing a physical smile rather than a digital smiley.
Although
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technology
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 offers greater connectivity among people worldwide, it is really making people less sociable.
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Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.

‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.

Examples:

I really want to study but I’m too tired.

I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.

If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • social interaction
  • connect
  • communicate
  • video conferencing
  • stay in touch
  • online communities
  • forums
  • like-minded individuals
  • global communication
  • collaboration
  • access to information
  • knowledge
  • bridge the gap
  • social isolation
  • detachment
  • face-to-face communication
  • genuine human connection
  • maintain
  • real-life interactions
  • balance
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