IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 7.5

Students perform better in school when they are rewarded rather than punished. To what extent do you agree or disagree? Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

#students #school
Although
 compensation is thought as a must amid education system, others state that punishment is a better way to follow.
This
 essay will examine both points of views and
then
 I will explain why a recompense system bring stronger results. Admittedly, when it comes to education, professors and parents ought to demonstrate authority amid students by imposing strict measures that require discipline.
In other words
, it is thought
that is
 it is needed to show to the students that they need to follow the rules or else a punishment can take place
such
 a suspension or even reducing some benefits as forbidden the use of mobile.
Accordingly
 to some, people react more effectively when they have some benefits taken away,
therefore
, they will struggle to reach their goals.
Nevertheless
, despite the benefits above, a recompense system has been considered as a better way to extract good results in terms of schooling because it brings about motivation. When a person is taught about the value of their work it can pave the way to elicit them to understanding how the world works,
thus
, they will never get disappointed about any drawback that they may tackle in their lives.
Also
, the recompense teaches for students that it is important to obey the rules and as a consequence for their good behaviour, they will be recompensated in a near future. In conclusion, both points of views have their own merits,
however
, I believe that rewarding the students could bring more results than any other minor benefits by punishing them.
Submitted by Marcel on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: