More and more people in developing countries are purchasing cars for the first time. What problems does this cause? What do you think are some possible solutions?
An increasing
number
of people from developing nations are making their first car purchases. The principal problems this
causes are pollution
and traffic
congestion, and the most viable solutions are electric engines
and better public transport
.
One dilemma developing countries face when their citizens start to buy cars
is increased pollution
. One of the primary causes of air pollution
is automobiles, and every additional car added to the road further
exacerbates the situation. In addition
, traffic
jams are also
becoming more common. This
is because roads that were built for horses, carts and even bicycles are now clogged during peak times because of the growing number
of personal vehicles. For example
, there were never any traffic
jams in Ho Chi Minh City 20 years ago, but with the ever-increasing number
of cars
, it takes much longer to commute now.
The first solution to this
problem is switching to electric engines
. These types of engines
are known to be far less harmful to the environment, and as more cars
use these in favour of traditional combustion engines
, air pollution
will improve. Another solution is to build superior public transport
systems. High-quality public transport
would counteract the issues currently caused by excessive car purchases as most people are already exasperated with the amount of time they spend in traffic
and would sell their cars
if there was a better alternative. For instance
,
in Japan, very few people own cars
because of the incredible public transport
system that is
in place.
In conclusion, the main problems associated with the rise in the number
of motor vehicles in developing countries are the decrease in air quality and clogging of the roads, but these can be addressed with the use of electric cars
and by providing modern public transport
.Submitted by emteeme on
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task achievement
Your essay addresses the task effectively by highlighting two main problems and proposing corresponding solutions. However, the example in the second body paragraph is incomplete. Providing a more detailed example or statistical data can enhance the argument.
coherence cohesion
Your essay is logically structured, but the transition between sentences and paragraphs can be smoother. Ensure that each paragraph flows naturally into the next to enhance readability.
coherence cohesion
Your introduction and conclusion are clear and relevant, but the conclusion can be made stronger by briefly summarizing the key points discussed in the body paragraphs.
coherence cohesion
While your main points are generally well-supported, adding more specific examples or evidence can make your arguments more compelling.
task achievement
You have clear and comprehensive ideas that are relevant to the prompt, which shows a thorough understanding of the task.
coherence cohesion
The logical structure of your essay makes it easy to follow your arguments and understand your points.
coherence cohesion
Your introduction sets the stage well for the discussion, and the conclusion effectively summarizes your stance on the issues.
Fully explain your ideas
To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).
For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:
- Paragraph 1 - Introduction
- Sentence 1 - Background statement
- Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
- Sentence 3 - Thesis
- Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
- Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
- Sentence 1 - Summary
- Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
- Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation
Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.
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