some people encourage mass immigration and some of them refused Should mass immigration be encouraged?

Throughout human history
Add a comma
,

It appears that you are missing a comma after the introductory phrase Throughout human history. Consider adding a comma.

show examples
people have moved from place to place. Some people travel for economic reasons
such
as
the
Correct your spelling
they

The word the doesn’t seem to fit this context. Consider replacing it with a different one.

show examples
search for work, while others migrate to join their family members or seek academic achievement. Others, James (2019) noted
m
Add an article
the

The noun phrase move seems to be missing a determiner before it. Consider adding an article.

show examples
ove to escape conflict, mistreatment and terrorism or human rights violations and as some migrate due to the effects of climate change or other natural disasters and environmental factors. In recent years,
immigration
has increased to developed countries;
this
movement has left remarkable and significant impacts. To illustrate
this
, since World War II, immigrants have formed a large regional
population
that is
comparable with any previous time. Bureau (2016) found that the
number
of externally born individuals is approximately the same as it was at the end of the 19th and 20th centuries
,
Remove the comma
apply

It appears that you have an unnecessary comma before the dependent clause marker when. Consider removing the comma.

show examples
when about 15% of the U.S.
population
was born overseas.
Consequently
, it is becoming a fierce debate platform in several major countries and a
number
of studies have been conducted.
Therefore
, two essential stances have been taken by opponents and supporters of
this
controversial
issue
.
Although
the opponents presented the negative effects of
mass
immigration
,
this
essay will offer the positive effects of
mass
immigration
and the fact that immigrants should be encouraged and welcomed across the world.
This
essay will discuss and rebut some arguments on the negative impact of
mass
immigration
on the economic, cultural and social aspects of the
destination
countries. One of the main negative aspects of
immigration
could be unemployment. Marchiori et al., (2018) suggested that a high
number
of researchers mention
destination
countries could suffer from crowding populations.
This
issue
places a burden on countries,
such
as a shortage in career opportunities, pressure on countries' public services, and competition of advantageous works, according to Pais (2013).
In
addition
, Pais stated that the highest productive jobs will be worked by low-skilled immigrants with low wages rather than having those jobs occupied by the expert local
population
,
for example
, some architecture and agricultural engineering. She went on to say that
this
immoral functional exploitation will completely destroy creativity and innovation. It was concluded that widespread poverty and
n
Add an article
the

It appears that an article is missing before the word need. Consider adding the article.

show examples
eed for welfare in host countries was due to the rising rate of unemployment.
In contrast
, recent studies have indicated that migrants are actually positive contributors to the
economy
. Pais referred to the persuaded fact that foreign-born workers in the U.S.
economy
are set at all levels of the professional hierarchy, including desirable and profitable careers.
Moreover
,
this
issue
could increase prospects of economic growth in the country of origin by a salient channel of monetary remittances that rescue those countries from poverty and might even inspire the creation of small businesses
such
as carpentry, blacksmithing and agriculture. The small businesses could gradually develop and contribute to the booming
economy
of developing countries according to Marchiori et al., (2018).
In
addition
, successful experiences will be transferred and benefit those enterprises in developing countries when manpower returned from overseas to work . These are not the only benefits of
mass
immigration
as there are enormous advantages for those who have been participating in raising the
economy
in developed countries. These advantages, Marchiori et al went on to state could be that taxes are raised from migrants and that they could be working in
low level
Add a hyphen
low-level

It appears that low level is missing a hyphen. Consider adding the hyphen(s).

show examples
professions which are not
desireable
Correct your spelling
desirable

The word desireable is not in our dictionary. If you’re sure this spelling is correct, you can add it to your personal dictionary to prevent future alerts.

to the local
population
. As mentioned above
mass
immigration
effectively supports economic growth in both developed and developing countries. The
second
counterargument argues for the loss of culture. Several surveys were conducted to investigate citizens’ acceptance of the idea of
mass
immigration
. Alesina et al., (2018) noted that the results of those studies involved repudiation based on habits and cultural differences. Researchers claim that
mass
immigration
may cause a loss of migrants’ national identity, feeling of belonging to and forgetting their native country’s history. Foner et al. (2018) suggested that
this
history is important for citizens to be proud of their united national identity and to defend it.
In
addition
, the opponents claim that
mass
immigration
causes losses in their mother language, which is a big part of cultural identity. There
are
Change the verb form
is

The plural form of be are does not seem to agree with the singular subject a high percentage. Consider changing the verb form.

show examples
a high percentage of immigrants who forget their mother language, and
this
is especially the case for the younger generations who were born outside of their home country. Persecution and racism are some examples of prejudice towards immigrants
..
Replace the punctuation
.
...

This sentence ends with a double period. Consider changing the punctuation.

show examples
They refer to the persecution that occurs when preventing immigrants from enjoying their human rights. With the example of racism, there can be a lack of acceptance of any non-native residents, and
this
has a
number
of different cultural, religious, ethnic and nationality issues that accompany
this
.
Nevertheless
, it can be argued that
mass
immigration
has achieved many great accomplishments. The main achievements are an exchange of understanding of cultural civilizations, traditional arts, values and lifestyles which were taught in public institutions as fundamental material. The major benefit behind
this
is the acquaintance with newcomers' societal culture and the encouragement of citizens to respect and appreciate immigrant civilizations.
Moreover
, obtaining an efficient education and mastering of foreign languages is one of the intended objectives of
mass
immigration
according to Jiang et al., (2019).
In
addition
, Jiang went on to say that the addressing of racism and the enforcing of justice
immigration
administration was established in
destination
countries in order to care for immigrants' rights as native residents. In summary,
mass
immigration
has played an essential role in recognizing various humanities arts and the acquisition of important languages
..
Replace the punctuation
.
...

This sentence ends with a double period. Consider changing the punctuation.

show examples
Nonetheless
, opponents have argued that a harmful result of
this
issue
might be the rupturing of familial relationships for immigrants. Chernoff et al (2019) explained the impaired familial relationships lead to psychological problems
such
as anxiety, depression, stomach complaints and diseases.
Moreover
, Suárez-Orozco, (2009) concluded that
the
Remove the article
apply

It appears that the is unnecessary in this context. Consider removing it.

show examples
psychological disorders could be harming migrant parents and their children. The emotional stress and confusion might influence security, stability, leading to violence and teenage crimes while immigrant parents' supervision is absent.
However
, technological development is considered a great solution to help immigrant families communicate.
This
will undoubtedly invalidate opponents’ arguments regarding
mass
immigration
and its damage on household relationships and health. Recent studies confirm that permanent communication by technological methods may participate in alleviating migrants' homeland nostalgia. When obtaining a psychological balance, it will encourage migrants to stay at work, which in turn increases the family income and improves the standard of living according to Chernoff et al., (2019). To sum up, despite opponents presenting a negative psychological effect related to the social life of newcomers, supporters have solved
this
problem via technological communication. In conclusion, the
issue
of
mass
immigration
has become a serious
issue
for public debate.
Although
scholars point out the negative and positive impacts of
mass
immigration
, the results of recent studies strongly
favours
Change the verb form
favour

The singular verb favours does not appear to agree with the plural subject results. Consider changing the verb form for subject-verb agreement.

show examples
mass
immigration
because of economic and cultural benefits are unlimited in both the home and
destination
countries. It is
therefore
worth stating that the arguments presented in favour of
immigration
far outweigh those stated against it.
Submitted by noof.moneer on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Improve your writing score in 2 weeks
Get 60% discount and enjoy a quick and easy way to check IELTS Writing Task 1&2!

Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

Read more in the eBook

The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »

* free ebook for Premium users

What to do next:
Look at other essays:
Improve your IELTS writing score within two weeks
Just type your IELTS essay and receive a clear, detailed report and band score in a moment.