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Band 7.5

Children today are too dependent on computers and electronic entertainment. It would be better to encourage them to spend more time outside playing sports and games. Do you agree or disagree?

#children #computers #entertainment #time #sports #games
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Nowadays,due to the extreme developing and availability of internet access, and, due to the continuous developing of new videogames, children are always more dependent on computers and electronic devices. Some people argue that it would be better to encourage them to spend more time outside playing sports and games. I strongly agree with
this
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last
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 statement for several reasons.
Firstly
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, as we said before, children are always more attracted to videogames as these are evolving and changing always more to be more realistic and
therefore
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 attractive for young people.
Furthermore
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, the internet is nowadays much cheaper and more easily accessible in almost every country, so children can connect to each other and play online with their friends.
For instance
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, recent studies suggest that nearly 70% of interviewed children prefer to play online rather than play outside with friends.
Secondly
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, we need to take into account that the habit of playing online could lead to serious damages to the children's health. In most cases, children that use to play online, are the most vulnerable as they normally practice less physical activity compared to the children that tend to play outside.
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, being involved in activities or sports that require a team play, could learn children how to deal with other members and
this
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 could be useful
also
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 for their future. To cite an example, when I was young, I was playing in a football team and that helps me to figure out how to maintain a good relationship with other people. To sum up, it would be advisable to teach children how to play outside and how to deal with other friends.
Also
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,I think it would be better to impose a limit on the usage of computer and internet devices for young group ages.
Submitted by Niccolò on

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To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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