Nowadays, shopping online is becoming popular because of it’s benefits. For example, the consumers can buy books, air tickets or anything they need on the Internet. There are many advantages of this phenomenon. Beside, the drawbacks of shopping online are also a problem. In my opinion, the benefit of buying things on the internet outweigh the disadvantages.

#it’s #consumers #books #air #tickets #internet #phenomenon #benefit

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this

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modern world, the

community

Use synonyms

have more choices to buy clothes online shops

due to

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convenience and effortlessness to get other brands and types. In my opinion, shopping online has a positive impact and a negative impact.

This

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essay will discuss both views below.

To begin

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with, shopping online has a positive impact because the

community

Use synonyms

don't need to go outside to buy something, enough to stay at home. It can help other communities with the convenience of selecting the type, model, and quality. And

also

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, with

this

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modern technology especially mobile phones, we can buy anything wherever the retail is located.

For instance

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, if Andi wants to buy clothes, he can open application shopping

such

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as Shoppe, Tokopedia,

Buka

Correct word choice

and Buka

show examples

Lapak app. And

then

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he chooses whatever ever to wants to buy the colour of clothing. After that, he can order the cloth. The packages will be come probably leck 5 days to

him

Change the pronoun

his

show examples

house.

Moreover

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, shopping online has disadvantages for the

community

Use synonyms

because when

this

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app gives many offers for buying something, the

community

Use synonyms

always buy it.

community

Use synonyms

become a waste of money even if not needed. So that's why,

this

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becomes a challenge for the government to keep the stability of the market online or

offline

Use synonyms

However

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, nowadays more

community

Use synonyms

always buying clothes, shoes and other buy online shops. it is absolutely dangered for market

offline

Use synonyms

For example

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, when all the

community

Use synonyms

buy something online shop I pain market

offline

Use synonyms

will die, So the stability of the economy becomes a big problem for the country. In conclusion, buying something with online shopping gives more convenience than

offline

Use synonyms

However

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This

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can cause problems for a stable economy.

Submitted by patricius.yohanes on Sat Jun 29 2024

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grammar

Ensure all your sentences are complete and correctly structured. For instance, the sentence 'community become a waste of money' should be 'the community can waste money.'

grammar

Try to incorporate more varied and complex sentence structures to improve the fluency of your essay.

support

Include more relevant examples to make your points stronger. While mentioning online shopping apps was good, elaborating on real-life scenarios would be beneficial.

coherence cohesion

Work on logical structure by ensuring that there's a clear, logical flow from one idea to the next. This can be achieved by using more linking words and phrases.

introduction

The introduction clearly states the topic and gives a preview of both positive and negative impacts, setting a clear agenda for the essay.

coherence structure

The essay generally maintains a coherent structure, discussing positive impacts first and then negative impacts before concluding.

support

Specific examples and applications, such as the mention of Shopee and Tokopedia, effectively illustrate the argument about the convenience of online shopping.

10
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
2
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 7.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 7.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 5.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

279 words

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