Nowadays, shopping online is becoming popular because of it’s benefits. For example, the consumers can buy books, air tickets or anything they need on the Internet. There are many advantages of this phenomenon. Beside, the drawbacks of shopping online are also a problem. In my opinion, the benefit of buying things on the internet outweigh the disadvantages.
In
this
modern world, the community
have more choices to buy clothes online shops due to
convenience and effortlessness to get other brands and types. In my opinion, shopping online has a positive impact and a negative impact. This
essay will discuss both views below.
To begin
with, shopping online has a positive impact because the community
don't need to go outside to buy something, enough to stay at home. It can help other communities with the convenience of selecting the type, model, and quality. And also
, with this
modern technology especially mobile phones, we can buy anything wherever the retail is located. For instance
, if Andi wants to buy clothes, he can open application shopping such
as Shoppe, Tokopedia, Buka
Lapak app. And Correct word choice
and Buka
then
he chooses whatever ever to wants to buy the colour of clothing. After that, he can order the cloth. The packages will be come probably leck 5 days to him
house.
Change the pronoun
his
Moreover
, shopping online has disadvantages for the community
because when this
app gives many offers for buying something, the community
always buy it. community
become a waste of money even if not needed. So that's why, this
becomes a challenge for the government to keep the stability of the market online or offline
. However
, nowadays more community
always buying clothes, shoes and other buy online shops. it is absolutely dangered for market offline
. For example
, when all the community
buy something online shop I pain market offline
will die, So the stability of the economy becomes a big problem for the country.
In conclusion, buying something with online shopping gives more convenience than offline
. However
, This
can cause problems for a stable economy.Submitted by patricius.yohanes on
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grammar
Ensure all your sentences are complete and correctly structured. For instance, the sentence 'community become a waste of money' should be 'the community can waste money.'
grammar
Try to incorporate more varied and complex sentence structures to improve the fluency of your essay.
support
Include more relevant examples to make your points stronger. While mentioning online shopping apps was good, elaborating on real-life scenarios would be beneficial.
coherence cohesion
Work on logical structure by ensuring that there's a clear, logical flow from one idea to the next. This can be achieved by using more linking words and phrases.
introduction
The introduction clearly states the topic and gives a preview of both positive and negative impacts, setting a clear agenda for the essay.
coherence structure
The essay generally maintains a coherent structure, discussing positive impacts first and then negative impacts before concluding.
support
Specific examples and applications, such as the mention of Shopee and Tokopedia, effectively illustrate the argument about the convenience of online shopping.
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