IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4

Every country should have a free health service, even if this means that the latest medical treatments may not be available through the service because they are too expensive. To what extent do you agree or disagree? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience. You should write at least 250 words.

#country #health #service #treatments
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To what extent do I agree or disagree about free
health
Use synonyms
care
Use synonyms
 provided in the country? Everyone should have a right for medical
care
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. Why?
Firstly
Linking Words
, we came to
this
Linking Words
 world to be cared about.
Secondly
Linking Words
, all basic treatments should be provided free of charge,
for example
Linking Words
Add the comma(s)
,
show examples
regular annual
check ups
Add a hyphen
check-ups
show examples
 like
b
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a
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lood test, fundamental dental
care
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, vision
care
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, mental
care
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 and physical
check ups
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check-ups
show examples
 like treatment from chiropractic clinic. The reason why I do agree with free
health
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care
Use synonyms
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
 because those all
care
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 visits mentioned early could have helped to eliminate
consequencies
Correct your spelling
consequences
 later.
For example
Linking Words
Add a comma
,
show examples
untreated mental
health
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 can lead
into
Verify preposition usage
to
show examples
 addictions, violence, crime. Not taking
care
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about
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of
show examples
 your physical
health
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 can lead to posture deformation and become disabled eventually. But
also
Linking Words
 I do agree despite we would take the best
care
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 and regular
check ups
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check-ups
show examples
, there would have happened still those
health
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 problems. Or sudden accidents, which we cannot manage to stop. At that moment people wish that all treatments would be for free, because those individuals may not work and earn money due to
health
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 condition
..
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.
...
show examples
 Nowadays we have so many options to choose from how to be treated. Some prefer to pay privately and visit
n
Add an article
a
show examples
aturopath and some people only believe that western medicine could heal them. So I think depends
Verify preposition usage
on
show examples
what kind of treatment the particular person needs, many people are already born with needs for
r
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the
show examples
est of their life, some happen during the living unpredictably and some we cause to ourselves. Right now I cannot come up with the disagreement, but we need to take
care
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 at our best that later treatment will cost us the least
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
 if the country
do
Change the verb form
does
show examples
 not provide free
health
Use synonyms
care
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 or we do not have money.
Submitted by ren.repiska on

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Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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