IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

Young people prefer listening to music rather than listening to the news on the radio. Is this a positive or negative trend? Provide reasons and examples for your opinion?

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On the
radio
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, youngsters prioritize listening to
music
Use synonyms
instead
Linking Words
 of
n
Add an article
the
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ews.
Although
Linking Words
, with
this
Linking Words
 trend, there are certain advantages associated, the downsides, in
this
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 case, seem to outweigh the upsides. To initiate, for the purpose of listening to
music
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, the benefits of using
radio
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. The
first
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 and foremost is the relaxation that leads to good mental health. To explain, juveniles, who listen
Add the preposition
to
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music
Use synonyms
 on
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r
Add an article
the
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adio, whether it is pop, jazz, or rock, reduce the stress and feel energetic, while cannot with the help of listening to
n
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the
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ews.
As a result
Linking Words
, on their mental health, they do not have to face dire consequences
such
Linking Words
 as depression and anxiety.
For example
Linking Words
,
the
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apply
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soft
music
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 is generally considered to be one of the best
music
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, which not only act as a stress buster but
also
Linking Words
 regain
the
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apply
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energy. Despite the advantages, among
y
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the
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oung generation, using
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r
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the
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adio only for listening to
music
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instead
Linking Words
 of news has a number of disadvantages. The primary one is the lack of knowledge about
s
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the
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urroundings. To explain, adolescents, for listening
music
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, who more rather focus on
radio
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 than news, are likely to be unaware about daily news that can be related to sports, social issues, even education
also
Linking Words
. To cite an example, the activities, which are related to crime
such
Linking Words
 as murder, robbery, stealing, and rape, because of unawareness among youngsters, take a rapid rise . In conclusion, though, with
this
Linking Words
 trend, there are some specific benefits involved, it has some adverse effects as, among young people, it may lead to the unawareness regards surroundings among juveniles.

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Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • accessibility
  • personalization
  • traditional
  • monotonous
  • escapism
  • relaxation
  • engagement
  • global events
  • informed decisions
  • bite-sized
  • fact-based
  • societal awareness
  • cultural identities
  • medium
  • subcultures
What to do next:
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