some people think a sense of competition in children should be encouraged,others believe that children who are taught to co-operate rather than compete become more useful adults.What is your opinion?

#people #sense #competition #children #co-operate #adults

this

era of cut-throat struggle, the education system has changed its perspective, it became more focused on championship rather on vital moral values.

Although

to have a better quality of life, one must earn more which can be achieved by hard work and sustainability in competition.

However

,is it is very certain than children should learn how to enhance their ability to do better in comparison of others to achieve more than others.

Nevertheless

,the other perspective of living life is far stronger than earning money should not be neglected. In society,there are many examples of victims of the clash. The fact is really fearful and gloomy that many talented children conducted suicide and lost their lives when they found themselves not enough competent than their peers. Here I feel most strong pillar of education is, making the child mentally strong to survive irrespective of failures because failures are often temporary so as the victory. If the education system instils

such

precious moral values among children, the life of talented one will be saved and eventually more strong adults can make society stronger.

Furthermore

,the irony and melancholy can be turned out into the glory of sunshine full of hopes for a better future.

Instead

of competition children must learn co-operation,

although

championship plays important role in some aspects, it must be healthy

then

Replace the word

than

show examples

to have real benefits of it. When children co-operate each other there can be a wonderful exchange of talents among themselves which can lead to the fabulous society in future. In conclusion, ' One must move ahead not by pulling

Add an article

the

show examples

eg of others but by giving helping hand to lift others'. The co-operation benefits overweigh the advantages comes from

Add an article

the

show examples

hampionship.

Submitted by drvaishalikhare on Sun Nov 08 2020

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Paragraph 1 - Introduction

Sentence 1 - Background statement
Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
Sentence 3 - Thesis
Sentence 4 - Outline sentence

Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

Sentence 1 - Summary
Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

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8Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
0Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
3Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

282 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 4.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 6.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 6.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 4.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Topic Vocabulary:

encourage
compete
cooperate
useful
adults
skills
motivation
drive
resilience
failure
workplace
empathy
social skills
reduce
stress
pressure
balanced
approach
ideal

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some people think a sense of competition in children should be encouraged,others believe that children who are taught to co-operate rather than compete become more useful adults.What is your opinion?

Fully explain your ideas

In the developed world, average life expectancy is increasing. What problems will this cause for individuals and society? Suggest some measures that could be taken to reduce the impacts of aging population

In some countries young people are encouraged to work or travel for a year between finishing high school and starting university studies. Discuss the advantages and disadvantages for young people who decide to do this .

Some people think there is no need for professional photographers as everybody knows how to click pictures. What is your opinion? Include any relevant personal experience and knowledge

in many countries around the world ,rural people are moving to cities,so the population in the countryside is decreasing. do you think this is a positive or a negative development?