IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6

Some people think that music plays an important role in society. Others think it is simply a form of entertainment. Discuss both views and give your opinion

#people #music #role #society #form #entertainment
✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
Some people believe that
music
 is really important for society while others think it is just to keep people entertained. singing has demonstrated to help people express themselves and their style of thinking,
however
,it is true that in modern life some people use
music
 as a hobby.
This
 essay agrees with the relation between culture and
music
. Cultures around the world have used
t
Add an article
the
show examples
une as a way to express their ideas, likes and form of thinking over time.
This
 fact has made people feel part of a group, they have identified themselves with others throughout the melody and create a feeling of belonging.
For instance
, the rock of the 60's started to become famous in the year 2010 because people felt identified with a similar political and social situation of that time. The
music
 industry has grown so fast that nowadays people just listen to
t
Add an article
the
show examples
une as a manner of entertainment. Rhythm has become more important than lyrics have, and as result songs are played in a more sociable environment where people dance and enjoy the moment with their friends and relatives. As an example,we can see that a lot of people dance reggaeton
music
, which has a very sexist lyrics but a really good rhythm for dancing. In my opinion, people listen to
music
 because they identify themselves with what the songs have to say and how they make them feel rather than just as a way of having fun. To conclude, the feeling of belonging has always made people be part of a group and
that is
 something societies can get with the melody.
Submitted by Anne on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: