Many children are encouraged by their parents to get a part time job in their free time. What are the advantages and disadvantages to children of doing so?

#children #parents #part #time #job

Many parents try to persuade their children to find a

job

in their spare

time

Although

it may seem too early to find

Remove the article

apply

show examples

employment, there are numerous benefits to it.

To begin

with, one of the biggest advantages of getting a

part

Add a hyphen

part-time

show examples

time

job

by minors is the possibility of learning responsibility and independence. Even though for adults simple actions (

for instance

waking up early on weekends) may seem unchallenging, they can be difficult for teenagers which are not used to them.

Additionally

, not only would knowing these virtues help children in future but

also

they could be useful in school.

Moreover

, getting a

job

can teach young people the value of money. If parents decide that they will not finance any luxuries

such

Add an article

show examples

ew phone, it will force children to save and to learn money management.

In other words

, only after earning enough can they buy something they want.

On the other hand

, many opponents of

this

idea argue that children should focus on school and the main essence of childhood, which is playing with their peers.

Firstly

, the greatest possible disadvantage is the deterioration of grades at school due to the lack of

time

to study. Education is believed to be a key to future success

therefore

it should not be neglected.

Secondly

, when teenagers indulge in work during their spare

time

, they will not have the possibility to relax, which is crucial for

Add an article

the

show examples

roper functioning of the brain. In conclusion, despite obvious positive results,

such

as acquiring a new experience and useful skills, getting a

part

Add a hyphen

part-time

show examples

time

job

may yield some negative effects and it should be within limits so it could not cause any unnecessary problems.

Submitted by agatazda on Sun Nov 08 2020

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

for example
for instance
to illustrate this
to give a clear example
such as
namely
to illustrate
take, for example

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Do you want to check your IELTS essays?

Submit unlimited essays, letters and charts. Sign up right now and start improving your writing skills.

13Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
5Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

282 words

5.50

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 5.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 5.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

7.5

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

🚀 Prepare for IELTS writing section today!

Unlimited Task 1 checks
Get all the feedback you need to keep improving your charts and letters.
Unlimited Task 2 checks
Practice and perfect your skills with essays.
Personalized suggestions
Know how to boost your score.
Detailed mistakes analysis
Get instant feedback. Spot every mistake.
Topic ideas generator
Get topic-specific ideas to enhance your writing.
Vocabulary helper
Get the right words for any topic.
Progress tracking
Track your writing improvements.

What to do next:

Look at other essays:

4.5
band
The internet has become profoundly efficient and popular that people choose it as a platform to learn. Some believe that it would eventually replace the need for books. Do you agree or disagree?
About a decade ago, when the internet was invented, it changed our lives irreversibly. It is believed that in today’s world people wouldn’t be able to survive even one day without wifi. It is because most of your research is based on the things we see online. Some people think that soon the internet will become the main news source for learning and I fully agree with that. In this essay I will explain why I support this opinion.
7.5
band
Some people believe that there should be fixed punishments for each type of crime. Others, however, argue that the circumstances of an individual crime, and the motivation for committing it, should always be taken into account when deciding on the punishment. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.
Some argue that there should be a standardized punishment for every type of criminal act because it allows the court to have equal rules. Others think that the perpetrator’s background should be considered and this essay believes that some crimes are driven by unfavourable situations thus they do not have other choices.
5
band
Computers are being used more and more in education. Some people say that this is a positive trend, while others argue that it is leading to negative consequences.
Nowadays, gadgets are increasingly utilized in educational studies. It is thought by some that it is a good development. Others,however, say it has negative implications. This essay will discuss both points of view and also explain why I believe the latter idea is worth supporting than the former.
8
band
Write a letter Your university is organizing the summer camp in the city where your best friend lives. Write a letter to your friend about 150-200 words about summer camp. Your email should do the following things. Ask your friend about night clubs in that city Request your friend to arrange a weekend party for your friends accompanying you.
How are you? I hope you are doing well. I am writing this to request some information about the nightclubs in your city along with the arrangements for a friend's party for my upcoming camp.
6.5
band
The bar chart below shows the employment of all male and female workers by occupation in UK in the year 2005 Summerize the information by selecting and reporting the main features and make comparisons where relevant.
The graph provides data about the proportion of all men and women employees at nine job positions in United Kingdom in the year 2005.

Many children are encouraged by their parents to get a part time job in their free time. What are the advantages and disadvantages to children of doing so?

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

The internet has become profoundly efficient and popular that people choose it as a platform to learn. Some believe that it would eventually replace the need for books. Do you agree or disagree?

Computers are being used more and more in education. Some people say that this is a positive trend, while others argue that it is leading to negative consequences.

The bar chart below shows the employment of all male and female workers by occupation in UK in the year 2005 Summerize the information by selecting and reporting the main features and make comparisons where relevant.