IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6.5

Many museums charge for admission while others are free. Do you think the advantages of charging people for admission to museums outweigh the disadvantages?

#museums #charge #admission #people
✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
Museums in many countries do not take any
charge
Use synonyms
 whereas some receive fees for
entry
Use synonyms
 into that place.
This
Linking Words
essay
Use synonyms
 will argue that the drawbacks of imposing a
charge
Use synonyms
 for
admission
Use synonyms
 are eclipsed by its advantages.
Firstly
Linking Words
,
this
Linking Words
essay
Use synonyms
 will demonstrate that the earning amount from the
entry
Use synonyms
fee
Use synonyms
 is invested to refurbish the
museum
Use synonyms
 and it adds benefits to expand the
museum
Use synonyms
 activities, followed by an analysis of how the primary disadvantage, namely giving the opportunity to all people, is not valid. Despite having the demerits bellow,
this
Linking Words
essay
Use synonyms
 believes that the benefits gained from charging an amount by the
museum
Use synonyms
 authority are extremely useful. One major upside is that the authorities of the
museum
Use synonyms
 can do renovation work form the
entry
Use synonyms
 fees easily.
Moreover
Linking Words
, they do not have to depend on the government subsidy to do any work or exhibition in the
museum
Use synonyms
.
This
Linking Words
 is illustrated by the fact that the British
Museum
Use synonyms
 is solely run by its own income which is earned from the
entry
Use synonyms
fee
Use synonyms
 and the exhibition
charge
Use synonyms
. It is
also
Linking Words
 advantageous to
charge
Use synonyms
 a small amount of money in the
museum
Use synonyms
 because people always value to those for which they pay.
In other words
Linking Words
, as free things are considered as granted, museums should
charge
Use synonyms
 for
admission
Use synonyms
 to give a message to the public about their valuable items.
For instance
Linking Words
, it Japan when their national
museum
Use synonyms
 was free for all, they did not visit that place because they thought that in the free place there might not have any fascinating thing. Admittedly, there are some issues involved in the case of applying fees in museums. One downside is that all classes of people in society do not get the opportunity to visit the museums. The reason is that not all people can afford to pay the
entry
Use synonyms
fee
Use synonyms
 of museums.
However
Linking Words
,
this
Linking Words
 view is not strongly supported because
admission
Use synonyms
fee
Use synonyms
 is decided by considering all income people of a nation and it always stays within the range of a tolerance level.
For example
Linking Words
, an empirical study Cambridge University found that 90% of museums in the world impose a very small
fee
Use synonyms
 to run their activities smoothly as well as to attract visitors in a large quantity. In conclusion,
this
Linking Words
essay
Use synonyms
 believes that the disadvantages of charging for
admission
Use synonyms
 are overshadowed by its merits because of having money to run the museums effectively.
Submitted by shawlin90 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • Admission fee
  • Revenue stream
  • Maintenance
  • Overcrowding
  • Commercialization
  • Cultural heritage
  • Diverse attendance
  • Community ownership
  • Access to culture
  • Visitor experience
  • Exhibit quality
  • Cultural mission
  • Reliance on funding
  • Government subsidies
  • Cultural accessibility
What to do next:
Look at other essays: