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Writing Samples
Band 5.5

Many people who care for the elderly do not have enough time to look after them. What are the problems related to this? What are some possible solutions?

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Nowadays, many people who have a sincere concern about senior people, in fact, are too busy to take proper care of them. In
this
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 essay, I will consider what kind of issues it is caused and which way they can be tackled.
First,
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the most important consequences of negligence on the young adult’s part and lack of high-quality help to the elderly, are physical and mental problems of the senior generation associated with it. To illustrate, after a certain age an old person, especially a person with disabilities or severe health issues, is not able to provide themselves with a decent level of
life
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. Sometimes even basic needs
such
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 as food supply, house maintenance, communication with the family or neighbours, etc. are not satisfied.
As a result
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, seniors have become socially isolated and struggle to survive, which is leading to mental crises
of
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apply
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them
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apply
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and problems with health. The key to solving these issues is to establish a social service by the government that will provide the elderly with all necessary help
such
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 as health check-ups, medicine, and food packages.
In addition
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, in order to improve the quality of social interactions of seniors, it would be a great solution to create free membership social clubs, where every pensioner could come and take lessons
of
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in
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 dancing, singing or other creative activities.
For example
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, my mother attended yoga classes in
this
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 kind of club in our city and I personally noticed that she has become more cheerful and interested in
life
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. In conclusion, the main problem arising from lack of time for helping the elderly is that the quality of
life
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 of the older generation is decreasing; as a rule, senior people suffer from isolation and
inability
Correct article usage
the inability
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 to maintain a decent level of
life
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. One of the possible ways to resolve the situation is the establishment by the authorities
a
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of a
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social service that would take care of the elderly and provide them with all mandatory help.

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recommendation
Task Response: The essay mostly addresses the prompt by discussing the problems related to the lack of time to care for the elderly and suggesting possible solutions. However, the ideas are somewhat unclear and could be further developed for a more thorough response.
recommendation
Coherence and Cohesion: The essay demonstrates a generally effective logical structure and clear introduction and conclusion. However, some ideas lack development and there are instances of unclear connections between sentences. Work on providing more detailed support and improving the flow of ideas between sentences and paragraphs.

Your opinion

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Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

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...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • burnout
  • neglect
  • emotional distress
  • social interaction
  • mental stimulation
  • financial costs
  • community care services
  • respite care
  • telehealth services
  • flexible work arrangements
  • caregiver leave policies
  • support networks
  • emotional support
  • monitoring systems
  • training programs
  • interpersonal strain
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