The growing of over weight people is putting a strain on the health care system in an effort to deal with the health issues involved. Some people think that the best way to deal with this problem is to introduce more physical education lesons in the school curriculum. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#weight #people #strain #health #care #system #effort #education #lesons #school #curriculum

Undoubtedly, fitness and a healthy lifestyle have become a concerning topic for everyone. Owing to the problems which a growing population of overweight people cause for

health

care system, some people believe that a key to tackle these issues is more sports and exercise in school.

This

essay will discuss that why presenting games in academic disciplines are essential to deal with the concern of deteriorating public

health

in relation to weight.

Firstly

, the best

way

to handle the matter surrounding obesity is a long term approach and introducing more sports as a compulsory subject in learning institutions.

This

method will become a safeguard for the

generation and ensure that new generation will be healthier without facing any

health

challenges.

For example

, by taking part in games, children will definitely be informed by a healthy routine and continue it even in the absence of their working parents. In that

way

, students will be succeeded in maintaining their fitness level for a long time. Another point to consider is that having curriculum and extracurricular activities in educational institutions will probably result in children developing an interest in exercise which might refine through their family member.

In other words

, parents with sporty children are more likely to involved in sports as a

way

of encouraging them. Both parents and children being involved, it will sure that children grow up to incorporate sports in their daily lives.

This

is certainly a natural and lasting

way

to improve public

health

. To conclude,

this

essay has discussed that to deal with

health

issues caused by unfit or obese people, it is important to educate the

generation to protect them by

such

health

-related problems. I completely agree that presenting games in school education is the best practice to solve these dilemmas

Submitted by pawanpritkor on Wed Nov 11 2020

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Sentence 3 - Thesis
Sentence 4 - Outline sentence

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Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
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Sentence 1 - Summary
Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
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6Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
0Grammar mistakes
 

5 paragraphs

297 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 8.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 9.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 4.5

Complete response

4.5

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Some think increasing business and cultural contact between nations is positive. Others think it leads to the disappearance of the national identity. Discuss both views and state your own opinion.

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