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Writing Samples
Band 7.5

Shopping online is becoming much popular in today’s world. What are the advantages and disadvantages of this trend

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One of the most prevalent trends in
this
Linking Words
 contemporary world is the cumulative increase in
people
Use synonyms
 buying merchandise and services online.
Although
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 making a purchase through a seller’s website makes the buyer's life convenient, it
also
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 brings in many disadvantages
such
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 as addiction and less social interaction. Both pros and cons of
this
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 topic will be carefully analysed before constructing an inference. On the one hand, nowadays, a large number of individuals prefer spending money on online
shops
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. The main benefit is that
people
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 have less
time
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 to go out shopping because of either employment or personal commitments. Another factor is that shoppers can compare and find a bargain for them without physically visiting multiple retail
shops
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.
For example
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, clothing brands
such
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 as Nike and Prada have 70% clearance offerings of popular items on weekdays through their websites which is not possible at in-person stores, making customers buy their products.
As a result
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, it is evident why many
people
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 gravitate towards buying goods on websites.
On the other hand
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, investing
time
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 and money in materials electronically has multiple disadvantages. The primary problem with
this
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 is
while
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 searching for suitable products individuals spend significant
time
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, gradually making them addicted to phone or laptop screens.
In addition
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, the majority of
people
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 who shop through computers generally do it alone themselves.
This
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 makes them more vulnerable and scared of having a social discussion in a physical shopping centre.
For instance
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, studies conducted by the Australian Online Cyber Hub found that individuals shopping on their mobile phones spend on average 60% more
time
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 looking at their screens than customers who shop at real
shops
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.
As a consequence
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, it is apparent that why buying possessions on computers has drawbacks. In summary, following the analysis of the positives and negatives of the increasing trend of online shopping,
it is clear that
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 lack of
time
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 is a big motivator and undoubtedly
people
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 are getting addicted to purchasing in virtual
shops
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.
Further
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, it is predicted that
this
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 development is going to continue in the future as well.

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task achievement
Make sure to expand on the examples provided, offering more specific details to illustrate your points.
coherence cohesion
Consider varying your sentence structures and incorporating a wider range of linking words to further improve coherence.
task achievement
Avoid generalizations and strive to provide more quantifiable data or statistics to support your arguments better.
coherence cohesion
Ensure that your conclusion sufficiently summarizes both sides of the argument and does not introduce new information.

Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

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