Many parents encourage young people to leave home when they become older, while others think they should stay at home with the family. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

It is believed that teens should live with their relatives
while
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other parents advocate for them to have their own place when they become older to foster responsibility and confidence.
This
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essay will examine both views and present my perspective. On one side of the argument, those who are in favour of living young people alone point out that they learn to manage their lives properly. When youngsters live independently , they take account of domestic responsibilities
such
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as cleaning and cooking. Another potential reason is that
this
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action leads them to become independent financially.
In other words
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, they manage how to deal with their money and how to appreciate
the
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its
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value of it ,
for example
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, they should pay for bills, food, and their houses.
As a consequence
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, they might think more before purchasing anything that they desire and may become less impulsive in their spending. On the other side, some people object to the above and claim that adolescents should stay with their families. In the first place, living together is costless as the whole family purchases for their basic needs equally.
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they may increase their saving significantly.
Secondly
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, there is no doubt that families can support each other emotionally ,
for instance
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,in the time of bereavement. Research shows that young people who live with their parents are more happy and they face less mental health issues.
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,
this
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situation increases the level of life security in terms of crime events
such
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as robbery. In conclusion, the reason why I believe adolescents should establish a separate household they may become more self-reliant and self-confident person compared to others who stay with their families.

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task achievement
Consider providing more specific examples or evidence to support your points, especially in relation to the emotional support families provide and the benefits of independence.
coherence and cohesion
Ensure smooth transitions between ideas and paragraphs to enhance the flow of your essay. For example, the transition between the paragraphs discussing different viewpoints could be more clearly defined.
coherence and cohesion
Clarify your conclusion by summarizing the main points made in the essay. This will help reinforce your opinion to the reader and improve clarity.
task achievement
The essay effectively presents both views on the topic, providing a balanced discussion before stating your opinion.
task achievement
You have included relevant points about the benefits of independence as well as the advantages of living at home, showing an understanding of both perspectives.
coherence and cohesion
The introduction clearly outlines the topic and the main ideas to be discussed, setting a clear direction for the essay.
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