IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 7

Some people think that intelligence is innate while others think that we can improve our intelligence through learning. Discuss both sides and give your opinion.

✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
It is hard to define what
intelligence
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

 exactly is. It is considered by some as an inborn ability that cannot be changed while others believe that people have an influence on it.
Although
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

 I agree that nature has some impact on intellect, I think the much more significant factor is hard work and learning.
To begin
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

 with, many people, who are perceived especially intelligent, already show some signs of their brilliance in early childhood. Children who can read, write or solve simple problems are considered more likely to become successful in future. Numerous great people were perfect examples of it.
For instance
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

, it is known that Mozart at the age of six could play
p
Change the article
the

It appears that the phrase piano may not contain the correct article usage. Consider making a change.

show examples
iano and he was starting to compose his
first
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

 songs.
Additionally
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

, many
researches
Change the wording
types of research
pieces of research
kinds of research

It appears that researches is an uncountable noun and should not be made plural. Consider changing the noun.

show examples
 prove that
intelligence
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

 is inherited, but does that mean that people are unable to improve it?
On the other hand
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

, having smart ancestors is not the only way to be clever. Countless studies have shown that
h
Add an article
a

It appears that an article is missing before the word high. Consider adding the article.

show examples
igh IQ can be gained through learning. One clear example is solving mathematics problems, riddles and puzzles. By forcing the brain to work more effectively people can improve their
intelligence
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

. Not only does the brain get used to functioning that way, but
also
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

 it is prepared for other harder challenges.
Moreover
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

, listening to the music of
a
Add an article
the

It appears that an article is missing before the word aforementioned. Consider adding the article.

show examples
forementioned Mozart can release stress which is one of the main reasons
of
Verify preposition usage
for

It appears that the preposition of may be incorrect in this context. Consider changing it.

show examples
 decreasing intellect. To conclude, scientists are indecisive on what the most important factor of
intelligence
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

 is. After analysing both sides of the discussion, it is not hard to see that the intellect is both innate and acquired. By taking into consideration all the arguments, I believe that personal influence is more crucial than genes.

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site's author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: