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Writing Samples
Band 6.5

Being a celebrity- such as famous film star or sports personality - brings problems as well as benefits. Do you think that being a celebrity has more benefits or more problems?

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Being a famous
person
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 can bring enormous success and can change
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life
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the life
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 of a
person
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 but it can bring problems with personal
life
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. There are certainly many benefits to being a famous
person
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.
Fame
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 can bring wealth, recognition, and opportunities that are not available to the average
person
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. A famous
person
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 can often enjoy a level of influence and power, shaping opinions, starting trends, or even effecting social change. The perks that come with
fame
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,
such
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 as access to exclusive events, high-end services, and a network of influencers, can make
life
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 much easier and more glamorous. And using his privilege he can make a lot of money.
For example
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: advertising a brand or creating your own business and promoting it. Famous movie actors, singers, or dancers have the potential to earn huge amounts of money.
for
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For
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 each of their roles or appearances on stage they receive huge amounts of money.
However
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, there are
also
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 bad sides to being a famous
person
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.
Firstly
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, celebrities often face constant public and media attention, which intrudes into their private lives. Everything they do is under surveillance, and even a small mistake can lead to harsh criticism or scandals. They never have a private
life
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. and the busy schedule that comes with
fame
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 leaves little room for personal time or relaxation. Celebrities are often constantly working, attending events, or dealing with their career, which can take a toll on their well-being and happiness.
Additionally
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, the pressure to always maintain a certain image can be exhausting. Famous people often feel like they can’t be themselves because they’re constantly worried about how the public will perceive them. In conclusion,
fame
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 offers great rewards like wealth and influence, but it
also
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 comes with downsides,
such
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 as loss of privacy and constant pressure.
While
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 it can bring success, the challenges it presents to personal well-being and happiness should not be overlooked.

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language
Make sure to follow consistent formatting by capitalizing the days or beginning of sentences properly (e.g., 'For example' rather than 'For example:').
content
Include more examples in the second paragraph to balance both sides of the argument effectively.
structure
Consider connecting ideas more clearly between paragraphs to enhance overall flow and coherence.
content
The essay presents a balanced view of the benefits and problems of being a celebrity, showing clear analytical thinking.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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