Some people believe that non-academic subjects at school should be removed from the syllabus so that children can concentrate wholly on academic subjects. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Some people argue that non-academic
subjects
do not help you in any way in the future and believe that non-academic
subjects
should be removed from the syllabus so that children can concentrate wholly on academic
subjects
.
This
essay will look into why I think non-academic
subjects
are equally important as academic
subjects
.
Firstly
, extra-curricular activities are important for
holistic
Correct article usage
the holistic
show examples
development of a child,
this
helps one in building their personality, being social and making friends, which could improve one's mental well-being.
For instance
, taking part in my school's TEDx club has made me more confident and social. Non-academic
subjects
like art bring out the creativity in children
whereas
sports teach them the value of teamwork and sportsmanship
while
also
encouraging them to stay active.
Lastly
, having non-academic
subjects
is another way of having a break, which can help prevent
students
from burning out and feeling exhausted.
Furthermore
,
subjects
like mathematics and physics which require critical thinking can make
students
feel burnt out very often if made to study consecutively
whereas
subjects
like arts and sports help
students
relax and can make them more productive
while
studying.
For example
, studying for more than 3 hours consecutively makes me feel exhausted after which I can not understand anything.
To conclude
, I believe that having non-academic
subjects
is just as important as having academic
subjects
as they can lead towards a more holistic development which is more useful in the future. I think schools should be encouraged to give their
students
non-academic
subjects
as well.
Submitted by satyarthverma88 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

task achievement
Your ideas are clear and comprehensive, but it would be beneficial to further develop some of your points. For instance, you could provide more specific examples or elaborate on how non-academic subjects can lead to better career opportunities. This would strengthen your argument and make it more convincing.
coherence cohesion
While your essay is logically structured and flows well, consider using linking phrases to further improve the coherence. For example, instead of just saying 'Firstly,' you could say, 'Firstly, one important reason is that.' This helps guide the reader through your argument more smoothly.
introduction conclusion present
Your introduction effectively presents the main argument and sets the stage for the essay. This makes your essay engaging from the very beginning.
relevant specific examples
You provide relevant specific examples to support your points, such as your experience with the school's TEDx club. This adds authenticity and credibility to your argument.
introduction conclusion present
Your conclusion effectively summarizes the main points of your essay and reinforces your stance. It leaves a strong, memorable impression on the reader.

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Learn how to write high-scoring essays with powerful words.
Download Free PDF and start improving you writing skills today!
What to do next:
Look at other essays: