In mordern times, children are spending less time with their families and more time with their friends. 1. Why has this change occured? 2. Do you think parents should force their children to spend more time at home?
In the current era, young expenditures much
time
with their colleagues and stay at home for the least hours. In the following essay, we will explore several causes why this
issue occurs, and I will mention my perspective about parents who should guide their children
to spend more time
at home.
On the one hand, more and more children
desire to stay with their friends
over the period. Social aspect plays a majority role in the lifestyle's young.For example
, some applications boost chatting with teams of friends
like Snap and Facebook. Hence
, all the time
apps introduce gifts for this
category of people. Therefore
, children
tend to this
site without senses and become addicted. In addition
, colleagues create fun times to joke and play.To illustrate more, my elder son likes joining with football team to improve his bravery and cleverness. Thus
, he can not find adequate time
to chat with us.
On the other hand
, people should put strict roles to obtain balance between friends
and family. First and foremost, kids acquire attitudes and values from their family in the first ages. In fact, families' produce and friends
will be products. That means each family makes a good child and lets him share the communities and products the behaviours. Consequently
, I remember the study published in AL Watan newspaper in 2002 that said " Parents are responsible for how to produce their children
and assign them as products in the country".
In conclusion, I am convinced that young spend a lot of time
with friends
and consider the huge issues in the countries. However
, parents who limit the time
and teach them to put a plan in life. In general, families have appropriate to create fun activities indoors and outdoors to attract children
.Submitted by lailakhalil3 on
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grammar
Ensure that all sentences are grammatically correct. For example, in the introduction, correct 'young expenditures' to 'young people spend' and 'stay at home for the least hours' to 'spend the least amount of time at home.'
coherence
Improve the logical flow by clearly linking each paragraph to the main topic. For instance, the transitions between discussing social apps and the values learned at home need more smooth integration.
task response
Make sure every main point is fully developed. For example, you mentioned children becoming addicted to social media apps but didn't fully explain the implications or provide sufficient depth.
task response
The essay provides a complete response to the task by addressing both parts of the question.
task response
The writer used relevant and specific examples to illustrate points, such as mentioning social media apps and family activities like football.
introduction conclusion present
The introduction and conclusion are present and appropriately signal the start and end of the essay.