Some people say that children should be involved in making schools' rules. Some argue that adults should be in charge of making rules. Discuss both view and give your opinion.

Although
it is considered by some that
children
ought to take part in creating school’s limitations, others believe these are
adults
who are responsible for the whole education process. In my opinion,
adults
have a more holistic view and better realise the ultimate role of
rules
and,
thus
, should be leaders on
this
occasion. On one hand, it is frequently deemed that in order
children
Change preposition
for children
show examples
follow
Fix the infinitive
to follow
show examples
the
rules
, they should be involved in their making.
In other words
, when
children
offer propositions which
then
become accepted by teachers and taken into account, youngsters feel proud as punch.
As a result
, not only do they obey the
rules
, but
also
urge other pupils to do the same.
Moreover
, there is a psychological trick which means that having invented
rules
, youths cannot rebel
them
Change preposition
against them
show examples
.
For example
, a principal of my daughters’ school reports that since students have been engaged in proposing restrictions and improvements, their behaviour has been extremely enhanced.
On the other hand
, only
adults
are liable for everything occurring in a school.
This
means they have to build all processes in
such
a way
to
Correct word choice
as to
show examples
guarantee
the
Correct article usage
a
show examples
safe and encouraging educational environment.
Furthermore
, hardly do
children
have the ability to see
as
Change preposition
apply
show examples
a
Correct article usage
the
show examples
big picture, as mature people and make decisions based on a holistic approach.
Therefore
, I do believe that teachers and other
adults
should take over
rules creating
Add a hyphen
rules-creating
show examples
activities and urge adolescents to comply with them.
For instance
, it is obvious that
children
have a short attention span and
while
making up
rules
might focus on too few directions and, eventually, miss sufficient aspects. In conclusion,
while
people can vary in their opinion, I am convinced that these are only adult people who ought to take leading roles in inventing school’s charters or regulations
due to
their ability to see more significant aspects and their responsibility for all students.
Submitted by myslitskaya.e on

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task achievement
Provide more specific examples to support your points.
coherence cohesion
Make sure the introduction clearly states both views.
coherence cohesion
Link your supporting points more explicitly to your main argument.
coherence cohesion
Use transition words and phrases to improve the coherence of your essay.
lexical resource
Provide more varied and precise vocabulary.
grammatical range accuracy
Check agreement between subject and verb in some sentences.

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • responsibility
  • accountability
  • engagement
  • relevant
  • reflective
  • critical thinking
  • decision-making
  • experience
  • long-term implications
  • consistent
  • professionally considered
  • lenient
  • biased
  • discipline
  • order
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