IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 6

Many governments think that economic progress is their most important goal. Some people, however, think that other types of progress are equally important for a country.
 Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

#governments #progress #people #country
Most of the administrators claim that improving economic situation is their most important emission. Some individuals argue that upgrading in the other areas is
also
 essential for countries’ development which I agree with. On the one hand, Governments believe that by enhancing the country’s economy, they can improve all other different aspects of citizens’ life. They mention that if financial developments happen, they can provide more budgets for various constructive projects which can bring about several benefits for the inhabitants.
For example
, by constructing a big commercial building not only enormous job position will be created for people with diverse expertise
such
 as labour workers and engineers, but
also
 it can make the appearance of the city more modern and beautiful.
On the other hand
, some people think that there are some other fields which need more attention and have a great impact on the progression of the country. In fact, each nationality has to develop its social values and moralities which cannot be achieved just by financial advancements. As an example, fortunately, these days racism is not seen as much as before in different societies by the virtue of global public movements which have fought against
such
 ideas and behaviours, but still, racial discrimination is seen in several societies which
needs
Change the verb form
need
show examples
 the governments' strict action against these injustices. In conclusion,
although
 I believe that economic improvements are crucial for every nationality, it is not the only matter of concern and development of other aspects of people’s daily life
such
 as morality and social ethics has
an
Remove the article
apply
show examples
equal importance. Administrators ought to propose strict laws which support and enhance social values.
Submitted by frmirzakhani on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • standard of living
  • sustainable development
  • social equality
  • environmental degradation
  • cultural heritage
  • technological innovation
  • wealth disparity
  • human development index
  • holistic approach
  • quality of life
  • economic prosperity
  • healthcare system
  • education system
  • cultural diversity
  • policy decisions
What to do next:
Look at other essays: