Food travels thousands of miles from producers to consumers. Some people think that it would be better for the environment and economy if people ate only the local food produced by farmers.

#food #thousands #miles #producers #consumers #people #environment #economy #farmers

There is a common argument that, as advocated, each person needs to consume their local products in order to save money and protect the environment. I strongly agree, and I think the advantages outweigh the disadvantages. Each region, based on its geographical area, can afford all

their

Correct pronoun usage

its

show examples

people's needs.

Along with

this

fact, it is obvious that our bodies are adapted to the place that we

leave

Correct your spelling

live

show examples

While

we can attune our bodies to weather conditions, we can do the same in the absence of some food and use other products

instead

. As our ancestors in the past were doing the same, they couldn’t transfer veggies or foods to another place, and even they couldn’t save them for their future. So, they tried to find new products to meet their needs.

Otherwise

, in order to deliver food from the producer to the consumer, we unintentionally cause a lot of damage to nature.

For instance

, the amount of gasoline that must be burned, the waste

that is

produced, or the preservatives that are used will cause serious damage. Another drawback of it is that people can’t access fresh foods. In the long run, not using healthy food will have dangerous consequences for the body. You may pay a lot for the product, but most of

this

cost will be

due to

the cost of shipping and packaging, not the quality of it.

Hence

, you will not have a nutritious product.

As a result

, in today's modern world, we may expect borders to be removed and restrictions to be minimized, but important issues

such

as health and nature should not be ignored.

Submitted by rahaaa1325 on Sun Apr 07 2024

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coherence cohesion

Try to use a variety of complex sentence structures to enhance clarity and coherence in your essay. Though your argument is well-formed, more linguistic variety could make it even clearer.

task achievement

Consider expanding on your argument by exploring not only the benefits but also potential drawbacks of consuming only local products more thoroughly. This can give your essay more depth and balance.

coherence cohesion

You've provided a clear introduction and conclusion that encapsulate your main points effectively, creating a strong logical structure.

task achievement

Your essay successfully addresses the topic with a thorough and complete response, effectively using examples to support your arguments.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

for example
for instance
to illustrate this
to give a clear example
such as
namely
to illustrate
take, for example

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11Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
0Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
2Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

270 words

7.00

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 7.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 7.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 7.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Topic Vocabulary:

environmentally friendly
carbon emissions
long-distance transportation
biodiversity
pesticides
fertilizers
local economy
sustainability
feasible
diverse range
food choices
cultural identity

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Food travels thousands of miles from producers to consumers. Some people think that it would be better for the environment and economy if people ate only the local food produced by farmers.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Students should be primarily taught academic subjects so that they can pass exams, and practical skills such as cooking should not be taught. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Children spend a lot of time watching TV and playing computer games, however it does not help in improving their mental abilities. Do you agree or disagree? .

In some countries, there has been an increase in the number of advertisements which try to persuade children to buy snacks, toys, and other goods. Parents often claim that these ads are unfair. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

Some people think that purchasing imported agricultural products has a positive effect. Others think consuming domestic products is better. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

Children are facing more pressure nowadys from academic, social and commrcial perspectives. What are the causes of these pressures and what measures should be taken to reduce these pressures?