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Band 6

In some cultures, children are often told that they can achieve anything if they try hard enough. What are the advantages and disadvantages of giving children this message?

#cultures #children #message
There are several disadvantages to giving
this
message
 to children. Above all, children may have an impossible dream due to
this
message
. Even though the
message
 seems hopeful, it is not realistic. In the real world, there might be goals and dreams which cannot be achieved by only efforts.
For example
, to become professional athletes like a basketball player, superior physical conditions
such
 as long stature are essential.
However
, these are decided by not efforts but inborn conditions.
Thus
, if children who do not have innate conditions set the goals which inborn conditions are needed in accomplishing, most of them would be frustrated or fail after spending much time doing practices related to the goal.
On the other hand
, there are
also
 advantages of the
message
 to children. The main advantage is that the
message
 can make children bright and positive in many ways. Generally, the personality of children is being formed for their childhood. At that time, the hopeful
message
 definitely affects
this
 process positively, which makes children have more positive views toward both the world and themselves. In many cases,
this
 effect is being sustained until adulthood, which would be a decisive factor for making individual personality permanently.
Furthermore
, children who keep exercising in order to achieve their goal can find out their potential talents.
Thus
, the process for children to make a lot of efforts can bring another chance.
Therefore
,
this
 attitude would give children many opportunities to find out or fulfil new goals even if they fail to achieve their original goals.
Submitted by yu1590 on

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Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • achieve
  • try hard
  • positive mindset
  • self-belief
  • motivates
  • ambitious goals
  • resilience
  • determination
  • confidence
  • self-esteem
  • growth mindset
  • unrealistic expectations
  • disappointment
  • failure
  • effort
  • hard work
  • seek support
  • individual differences
  • abilities
  • capabilities
What to do next:
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