IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 6

Some people say that the only reason for learning a foreign language is in order to travel to or work in a foregin country. Others say that these are not the only reasons why someone should learn a foreign language. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion

#people #reason #language #travel #work #foregin #country #someone
Some say that
people
 should learn a other
language
 than their native only for work or travel abroad,
while
 others say that there are more reasons for doing that. There
is
Correct subject-verb agreement
are
show examples
 a lot of folks that want to learn a
language
 for their job and just go to other countries, but I believe that there are more
people
 that learn a
language
 for their studies or needs for the future. In terms of travel and work, it is very crucial to have
language
, if you want to go abroad. It is very necessary because , in other nations, there might be no
people
 who can speak your native
language
. It is very often that
people
 learn English for travel and it
also
 concerns me. My dream is to visit all countries around the world, and for that goal, I need to
study
 hard, because of
this
 popularity around the Earth. There can be other goals that learning a
language
 is important. One of these reasons is
study
. In our time if you have very good
language
 skills, you can get a very high level of knowledge.
For example
, my sister was the kind of person who wanted to
study
 in England and I remember that she studied all day and all night to achieve her goal. After 2 years, she joined her dream university in England. In conclusion, some can think that there is no
other
Correct word choice
apply
show examples
need to
study
 another
language
rather
Correct your spelling
other
show examples
 than for management or to go abroad, to take some time to relax, but I think that there we have other needs like
study
, and nowadays it is the main reason for learning languages.
Submitted by Kawasaki on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

task achievement
In the introduction, clearly state both views and mention that you will discuss them before giving your opinion. This makes the essay structure clearer.
coherence cohesion
Work on the organization of your paragraphs. Each paragraph should focus on one main idea and be clearly connected to the central argument.
coherence cohesion
The transitions between paragraphs can be improved to enhance the flow of the essay. Use linking words like 'furthermore,' 'in addition,' or 'on the other hand' to achieve a smoother progression.
task achievement
You provided relevant examples such as your sister studying to get into a university in England. This adds depth to your argument.
coherence cohesion
The conclusion summarizes the main points and clearly states your opinion, making it easy for the reader to understand your viewpoint.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: