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Band 5

Some people believe that all wild animals should be protected. Others say that few wild animals should be protected instead. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

#people #animals
According to
 a few masses, all the wild
animals
, which are considered to be more valuable and need to be protected, have led to
this
 question among the rest of the people that only a few wild
animals
rather
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apply
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need to be protected
than
Change preposition
apply
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all
Correct pronoun usage
apply
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. In my opinion,
although
 protecting a few wild
animals
 has certain benefits, giving protection to all seems to be more advantageous. To initiate the benefits of protecting a few wild
animals
. The primary one is the saving of soil. To explain, protecting all the wild
animals
 requires
a
Correct article usage
apply
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more forest area for a better habitat that might
be leading
Wrong verb form
lead
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 to the shortage of terrain for
the
Correct article usage
apply
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humans;
hence
, focusing on the protection of only a few
animals
 rather than all is likely to be beneficial for humans. As an illustration, building houses, industries, hospitals,
schools
Correct word choice
and schools
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, which are the significant aspects of
human’s
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human
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 life, require more land for the establishment. Despite these advantages of a few
animals
. Protecting all wild
animals
 has a number of benefits. The first and foremost advantage is the maintenance of the food chain because some
animals
 are carnivorous, and they depend on herbivorous
animals
for satisfying
Change preposition
to satisfy
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 their hunger. If they are protected,
then
 it will be helpful for balancing the food chain.
For example
,
lion
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lions
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,
tiger
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tigers
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,
leopard
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leopards
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, and wolf all these
animals
 depend on others
such
 as deer, buffalo, and many more. In conclusion, from my point of view, though protecting a few
animals
 can lead to the preservation of land for humans, perhaps considering the protection of all the wild
animals
 is beneficial in terms of knowledge of whole wildlife among children who are living in
this
 contemporary world.
Submitted by arah.kaka011 on

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coherence cohesion
Ensure that each paragraph focuses on a clear and specific main idea, providing relevant examples and explanations to support your points. Use transition words and phrases to guide the reader through the logical structure of your essay.
task achievement
You have addressed both views and given your opinion. However, strive to offer deeper analysis and explore the implications of each view in more detail. Provide more comprehensive and balanced arguments for both perspectives.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Learn how to write high-scoring essays with powerful words.
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Topic Vocabulary:
  • biodiversity
  • ecosystem
  • conservation status
  • ecological significance
  • holistic approach
  • endangered species
  • natural heritage
  • unforeseen negative impacts
  • economically non-viable
  • prioritization
  • ecosystem balance
  • conservation efforts
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