Some people believe that all wild animals should be protected. Others say that few wild animals should be protected instead. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

#people #animals

According to

a few masses, all the wild

animals

, which are considered to be more valuable and need to be protected, have led to

this

question among the rest of the people that only a few wild

animals

rather

Rephrase

apply

show examples

need to be protected

than

Change preposition

apply

show examples

all

Correct pronoun usage

apply

show examples

. In my opinion,

although

protecting a few wild

animals

has certain benefits, giving protection to all seems to be more advantageous. To initiate the benefits of protecting a few wild

animals

. The primary one is the saving of soil. To explain, protecting all the wild

animals

requires

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

more forest area for a better habitat that might

be leading

Wrong verb form

lead

show examples

to the shortage of terrain for

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

humans;

hence

, focusing on the protection of only a few

animals

rather than all is likely to be beneficial for humans. As an illustration, building houses, industries, hospitals,

schools

Correct word choice

and schools

show examples

, which are the significant aspects of

human’s

Change noun form

human

show examples

life, require more land for the establishment. Despite these advantages of a few

animals

. Protecting all wild

animals

has a number of benefits. The first and foremost advantage is the maintenance of the food chain because some

animals

are carnivorous, and they depend on herbivorous

animals

for satisfying

Change preposition

to satisfy

show examples

their hunger. If they are protected,

then

it will be helpful for balancing the food chain.

For example

lion

Fix the agreement mistake

lions

show examples

tiger

Fix the agreement mistake

tigers

show examples

leopard

Fix the agreement mistake

leopards

show examples

, and wolf all these

animals

depend on others

such

as deer, buffalo, and many more. In conclusion, from my point of view, though protecting a few

animals

can lead to the preservation of land for humans, perhaps considering the protection of all the wild

animals

is beneficial in terms of knowledge of whole wildlife among children who are living in

this

contemporary world.

Submitted by arah.kaka011 on Wed Nov 18 2020

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coherence cohesion

Ensure that each paragraph focuses on a clear and specific main idea, providing relevant examples and explanations to support your points. Use transition words and phrases to guide the reader through the logical structure of your essay.

task achievement

You have addressed both views and given your opinion. However, strive to offer deeper analysis and explore the implications of each view in more detail. Provide more comprehensive and balanced arguments for both perspectives.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

Paragraph 1 - Introduction

Sentence 1 - Background statement
Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
Sentence 3 - Thesis
Sentence 4 - Outline sentence

Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

Sentence 1 - Summary
Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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7Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
1Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
12Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

279 words

5.00

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Topic Vocabulary:

biodiversity
ecosystem
conservation status
ecological significance
holistic approach
endangered species
natural heritage
unforeseen negative impacts
economically non-viable
prioritization
ecosystem balance
conservation efforts

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Some people believe that all wild animals should be protected. Others say that few wild animals should be protected instead. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

Fully explain your ideas

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