IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6

Some people claim that family members are more important than friends. Do you agree or disagree

#people #members #friends
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It is considered by some people that family members occupy an integral place in one's
life
Use synonyms
instead
Linking Words
 of friends. I agree with
this
Linking Words
 notion and believe that family helps a person in multiple aspects including support as well as providing suitable guidance.
Firstly
Linking Words
, family members are significant because they always stand by their children in their good and bad times.
In other words
Linking Words
,
a
Add an article
the
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ssistance of their near ones never
make
Change the verb form
makes
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 them feel alone while friends sometimes abandon them in their worst circumstances
instead
Linking Words
 of helping them in relieving their stress or worries.
For instance
Linking Words
, one of
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
India's eminent singer Neha Kakkar got name and fame owing to the support of her relatives when she was struggling in fulfilling her desires of getting success in
m
Add an article
the
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usic industry and even get deserted by her friends at that time.
Therefore
Linking Words
, family not only give support but
also
Linking Words
 make them strong enough to deal with the challenges that come forward in
life
Use synonyms
.
Secondly
Linking Words
, relatives act as a major contributor in providing children with appropriate guidelines that helps in preventing juvenile from going to the astray path that not only put a bad impact on their social image but
also
Linking Words
 completely
ruin
Change the verb form
ruins
show examples
 their
further
Linking Words
life
Use synonyms
. To be precise with, there are higher chances of youngsters
involvement
Replace the word
involved
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in
b
Add an article
the
a
show examples
ad company under the peer pressure, at that times only the parents and grandparents make them aware about the bad consequences of following
such
Linking Words
 track. To illustrate, a survey report shows that majority of young ones managed to achieve success in their
life
Use synonyms
 by merely abiding the directions given by their parents.
Consequently
Linking Words
, recommendations of family members make
a children
Correct the article-noun agreement
children
a child
show examples
 capable of attaining success and becoming a courteous citizen of society. In conclusion, I think that significance of family is much more than the individuals of
s
Add an article
the
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ame age due to some essential factors that involve their contribution in maintaining children's strength by continuously supporting them along with imparting valuable teachings towards choosing the right track in their
life
Use synonyms
Submitted by Rajinder kaur on

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Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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