IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 6

Some people claim that family members are more important than friends. Do you agree or disagree

#people #members #friends
It is considered by some people that family members occupy an integral place in one's
life
instead
 of friends. I agree with
this
 notion and believe that family helps a person in multiple aspects including support as well as providing suitable guidance.
Firstly
, family members are significant because they always stand by their children in their good and bad times.
In other words
,
a
Add an article
the
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ssistance of their near ones never
make
Change the verb form
makes
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 them feel alone while friends sometimes abandon them in their worst circumstances
instead
 of helping them in relieving their stress or worries.
For instance
, one of
the
Correct article usage
apply
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India's eminent singer Neha Kakkar got name and fame owing to the support of her relatives when she was struggling in fulfilling her desires of getting success in
m
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the
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usic industry and even get deserted by her friends at that time.
Therefore
, family not only give support but
also
 make them strong enough to deal with the challenges that come forward in
life
.
Secondly
, relatives act as a major contributor in providing children with appropriate guidelines that helps in preventing juvenile from going to the astray path that not only put a bad impact on their social image but
also
 completely
ruin
Change the verb form
ruins
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 their
further
life
. To be precise with, there are higher chances of youngsters
involvement
Replace the word
involved
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in
b
Add an article
the
a
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ad company under the peer pressure, at that times only the parents and grandparents make them aware about the bad consequences of following
such
 track. To illustrate, a survey report shows that majority of young ones managed to achieve success in their
life
 by merely abiding the directions given by their parents.
Consequently
, recommendations of family members make
a children
Correct the article-noun agreement
children
a child
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 capable of attaining success and becoming a courteous citizen of society. In conclusion, I think that significance of family is much more than the individuals of
s
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the
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ame age due to some essential factors that involve their contribution in maintaining children's strength by continuously supporting them along with imparting valuable teachings towards choosing the right track in their
life
Submitted by Rajinder kaur on

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Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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