It is better for children if the whole families (e.g. aunts, uncles and grandparents)are involved in the children's upbringing, rather than their fathers and mothers only. Do you agree or disagree with this opinion? (disagree)

✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
The nuclear family concept has been widely accepted worldwide, where only parents support their
child
Use synonyms
's holistic development. While kids living in a joint family can have better lives in some people's opinion, I disagree with that notion and support my argument in
further
Linking Words
paragraphs. To embark with, kids staying in joint families get too much pampering from their grandparents and relatives. A
child
Use synonyms
's personality traits like self-reliance and self-decision making get affected negatively in
such
Linking Words
an environment. The independence of a
child
Use synonyms
gets affected primarily due to more people's involvement. No decision of a
child
Use synonyms
's life or career can be taken solely by parents or a
child
Use synonyms
, and more opinions mean more confusion.
Moreover
Linking Words
, parents of a
child
Use synonyms
know what is best for their
child
Use synonyms
and groom them according to their principles and understanding. It can be established in a nuclear family rather than in a joint family. If parents want their
child
Use synonyms
to become more
broad minded
Add a hyphen
broad-minded
show examples
about societal issues, staying in a joint family can't be an option for them as most
grand parents
Correct your spelling
grandparents
show examples
have traditional values. Grandparents' experience could be invaluable, but all of
that is
Linking Words
taught to the parents, and they can teach their
child
Use synonyms
according to the necessity, rather than the conservatory. To sum up, in the modern world, to succeed, a kid must be self-reliant, extrovert, and need to accept new life approaches, which is not possible if a
child
Use synonyms
lives in a bubbled joint family with conservative thoughts and a lot of pampering.
Submitted by vishalkadia55 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: