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Writing Samples /
Band 2.5

It had been proved that smoking kills. In some countries. It has been made illegal for people to smoke. In all public place except in certain areas. All countries should make these rules?

#countries #people #smoke #place #areas #rules
it is refutable that smoking has become a serious problem
in
Change preposition
apply
show examples
these days it causes injuries to the health some people think that smoking should be banned in every country by legal rules I completely agree with
this
 declaration I will delve point in upcoming paragraphs before reach the conclusion.
to begin
 with, smoking
puts
Verb problem
has
show examples
 a detrimental effect on personal life and health
also
.
firstly
, it causes so many diseases
such
 as cancer of
lungs
Correct article usage
the lungs
show examples
, liver, mouth and so on.
after
Capitalize word
After
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this
 individual can not live a healthy life.
secondly
, children have considered
a
Correct article usage
the
show examples
 future of every Nation. when
elder
Fix the agreement mistake
elders
show examples
 will do the smoking in
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
public
area
Fix the agreement mistake
areas
show examples
 and children
will
Verb problem
apply
show examples
see them they will try to do
like
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apply
show examples
that, which
will
Verb problem
is
show examples
 not good for them and their
life
Fix the agreement mistake
lives
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. not only
this
, active
smoker
Fix the agreement mistake
smokers
show examples
puts
Verb problem
have
show examples
 a bad effect on
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
passive smokers
on
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in
show examples
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
public
place
Fix the agreement mistake
places
show examples
such
 as pregnant women and children
Rephrase
apply
show examples
also
.
moreover
, the government should make strict rules for
Prohibition
Correct article usage
the Prohibition
show examples
 of smoking
on
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in
show examples
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
public places that will be good for every person
of
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in
show examples
 the nation and
it
Correct pronoun usage
apply
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will
also
 enhance the beauty of the city. In conclusion, the
o
Correct word choice
apply
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government should build different smoking
zone
Fix the agreement mistake
zones
show examples
on
Change preposition
in
show examples
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
public places for active smokers.
Submitted by naresh on

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Task Response
Focus on developing clearer and more complete ideas. Ensure that your examples and reasons support your main points effectively.
Coherence and Cohesion
Improve the organization of your essay and ensure a more logical flow of ideas. Work on developing a clearer introduction and conclusion.
Lexical Resource
Enrich your vocabulary and use more precise and appropriate words. Pay attention to word choice, collocations, and idiomatic expressions.
Grammatical Range
Work on sentence structure, grammar accuracy, and variety. Check for subject-verb agreement, use of articles, and appropriate sentence structures.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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