Nowadays a large amount of advertising aimed at children should be banned because of the negative effects. To what extent do you agree or disagree
In the present world, many promotion
advertisements
targeting
youngsters which Wrong verb form
target
bring
Verb problem
have
adverse
impact on them. It is argued that those clips should not be accessible to Correct article usage
an adverse
children
. I totally agreed
that teenagers are better to stay away Wrong verb form
agree
to
those Change preposition
from
advertisements
.
Firstly
, most of the promoting videos are
mainly Verb problem
apply
focusing
on the selling points of their products and Wrong verb form
focus
ignoring
the dark sides that might negatively affect Wrong verb form
ignore
children
's development. For instance
, there are some Candies selling organic ingredients properly
Correct pronoun usage
that properly
hidden
Wrong verb form
hide
that
fact that those candies Correct determiner usage
the
having
high sugar or sodium per piece. Wrong verb form
have
This
misleading message, which commonly
used in advertising, Add a missing verb
is commonly
attract
youngsters to consume, and Correct subject-verb agreement
attracts
then
unhealthy goods might affect the
growth and health condition Change the word
their
of
Change preposition
apply
them
. Since young ages still have not acquired enough knowledge to distinguish the truth, Correct pronoun usage
apply
children
's advertising should be banned.
Secondly
, the technique applied to advertisements
might build up the wrong concept for the
young ages. Businessmen usually Correct article usage
apply
combined
their products with fabulous images and concepts to boost sales. Wrong verb form
combine
For example
, Correct article usage
the toys
toys
business will combine their goods with materialistic and high social status as an attractive point to Fix the agreement mistake
toy
tracker
customers' Replace the word
track
emotion
to buy. Since Fix the agreement mistake
emotions
children
are
easily Verb problem
can
accessed
Wrong verb form
access
to
those Change preposition
apply
promotion
clips on TV, kids learn through these Replace the word
promotional
association
from the Fix the agreement mistake
associations
advertisements
and build-up
the wrong concept easily. Correct your spelling
build up
This
is harmful to the children
by altering their proper attitude and manner that learnt from school.
In conclusion, advertisements
for children
should be carefully regulated to prevent the kids frommisunderstand
the messages. Parents Correct your spelling
from misunderstanding
also
play an essential role as a firewall to ensure their children
free
from the numerous harmful messages.Add a missing verb
are free
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task response
Well done in addressing the task. You provided a clear opinion on the topic and supported it with relevant reasons and examples.
coherence and cohesion
Your essay has good coherence and cohesion. Your ideas are well organized and supported with examples. Try to improve the link between paragraphs for smoother transitions.
task response
Clear opinion stated and supported with relevant reasons
coherence and cohesion
Well-structured essay with clear organization of ideas