Some people think that government should give financial support to creative artists such as painters and musicians. Other believe that creative artists should be funded by alternative sources. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

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The table reveals the admissions of students at Brighton co-ed school in the span of 20 years. Overall, it can be seen that the trends of admission, male's
percentage
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

and overseas students were upward, whereas other they were downward for other sectors. It is important to note that there was a dramatic increase in
a
Change the article
the

It appears that the article a may be incorrect in this context. Consider changing it.

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enrollment sector. It was only 800 students in the initial year (1990) as compared to 3400 of 2010. It almost increased
Verify preposition usage
by

It appears that there is a missing preposition after the word increased. Consider adding the preposition.

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400%. The enrollment number inclined gradually in the 10
year
Change to a plural noun
years

The singular noun year follows a number other than one. Consider changing the noun to the plural form.

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of span.
Also
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

, in 1990, there
was
Change the verb form
were

The singular verb form was does not seem to agree with the plural subject no non EU students in the school. Consider changing the verb form.

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no
non EU
Add a hyphen
non-EU

It appears that non EU is missing a hyphen. Consider adding the hyphen(s).

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students in the school but, it rose greatly in the following year and
in
Change the preposition
at

The preposition in may be incorrect. Consider changing it to a different preposition.

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the end of 2010 it reached
at
Remove the preposition
apply

The preposition at seems unecessary after the verb reached. Consider removing the preposition.

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a quarter.
On the other hand
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

, the
percentage
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

of students, who were coming from EU countries declined minimally till 2010. They were 76% against 100% of 1990. The
percentage
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

of male and female students were almost
s
Add an article
the

It appears that an article is missing before the word same. Consider adding the article.

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ame in 1990.
However
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

, the ratio of women started decreasing in 2000 and fell till 2010. It dropped almost 48% to 44% in 2000 and
then
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

39% in 2010. On the flip side, men’ rate escalated greatly in 2000 and it reached to the peak in 2010 with 61% enrollment. The students, who
residing
Change the form of the verb
reside

It appears that your sentence or clause uses an incorrect form of the verb residing. Consider changing it.

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in 5 miles radius of Brighton and Hove declined gradually over the period.
Overall
Add an article
The overall

The noun phrase Overall percentage seems to be missing a determiner before it. Consider adding an article.

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percentage
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

of abroad students went up in 20 years.
Submitted by Harvey on

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Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

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