In many countries it is now illegal to smoke in public places. It is only fair that people who wish to smoke should have to leave the building. Do you agree or disagree?

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A large number of nations have passed laws that prohibit smoking in public spaces. In
this
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essay, I will discuss
reasons
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why I believe
such
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a measure brings fairness and why
people
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who wish to
smoke
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must leave the premises. All the areas designated for public use must be used without causing inconvenience by following certain rules established for
such
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spaces.
However
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,
smokers
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bother
people
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in
such
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locations with their
habits
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, as some might take offence since their culture frowns upon
such
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practices. Smoking is injurious to health. It not only affects the health of the person who is smoking, but
also
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negatively impacts the
people
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in the vicinity through passive smoking.
People
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with respiratory issues could have a hard time in public places that allow smoking, as it could worsen their medical condition. It is for these
reasons
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that I think legally prohibiting smoking in public locations is fair. Apart from the fact that smoking is legally banned in public locations, we know that the population of
smokers
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is smaller compared to the population of non-
smokers
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.
Hence
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, individuals who
smoke
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should reform their
habits
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. They should leave the premises to ensure they remain compliant with the law and public safety purposes.
For instance
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, if
smokers
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were allowed to
smoke
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within a building meant for public use and a cigarette was not disposed of properly,
then
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there is a chance that a fire could break out, putting many innocent lives at risk. These are the
reasons
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why I believe that it is fair for
smokers
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to
smoke
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outside of the designated public areas. To summarise,
smokers
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might inconvenience individuals who do not
smoke
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through their
habits
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. Some
people
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from certain cultures look down on
such
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habits
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,
while
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the health of others could be negatively affected.
In addition
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, it is a public safety hazard. These are the
reasons
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why I think that making smoking illegal in
such
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spaces is a fair decision.

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task response
Task response: Your answer is clear and you stay on the topic. To get a higher score, add one more strong idea on why this law is fair, or show one short other side and then say why you do not agree with it.
task response
Task response: Your ideas are good, but some are a bit general. Try to explain them more deeply with one clear result, like how smoke affects workers, children, or old people in closed places.
task response
Task response: You use an example about fire, and it is relevant. To make it stronger, use an example that is more direct and common, such as second-hand smoke in restaurants, buses, or offices.
coherence and cohesion
Coherence and cohesion: Your essay has a clear intro, body, and end, so it is easy to follow. To improve more, make the topic sentence of each body paragraph shorter and more direct.
coherence and cohesion
Coherence and cohesion: Most ideas link well, but some sentences are long and heavy. Split some long sentences into two shorter ones so the reader can follow your point more easily.
coherence and cohesion
Coherence and cohesion: You use linking words like 'however', 'hence', and 'for instance' well. For a higher score, make sure each link shows a very clear step from idea to idea, and avoid adding too many points in one sentence.
task response
Task response: You answer the question clearly and keep the same position from start to end.
task response
Task response: Your main ideas are relevant: health, comfort in public places, and safety.
coherence and cohesion
Coherence and cohesion: Your essay has a clear structure with an introduction, two body paragraphs, and a conclusion.
coherence and cohesion
Coherence and cohesion: You use linking words well enough to guide the reader through your ideas.
Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example
Topic Vocabulary:
  • secondhand smoke
  • respiratory problems
  • cardiovascular disease
  • clean air
  • public health
  • hospital admissions
  • economic benefits
  • smoking cessation
  • cultural shift
  • healthcare costs
  • smoke-free laws
  • enforcement
  • designated smoking areas
  • compliance
  • social attitudes
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